Lately many things that happened reminded me of my old self. Last time, I used to be very moody. Whenever i saw things that I disliked or knowing that people telling lies and I couldn't do anything about it I'll became very unhappy. When people talked to me, I may just ignore or entertained them briefly. My kind of mood can actually make the situation even worse. I did not realized it until people kept telling me about it.
Now i finally understand how people suffered when I displayed this kinda mood. I was letting others to push my emotional buttons.
I am the only person who has the right to push my emotional buttons and you are too. We are the owner and we have the responsibility to fix our own setting. I think we shouldn't let others press that button and we can't simply press that button too. How? Many times we tend to dwell in negative thoughts. That is when we pressed it wrongly. We should press the fast forward button. Or rewind to incidents that God has helped us through. Then fast forward again to reflect and ask ourselves, what does God want me to learn from certain incident? (This is one of the points during devotion on Wednesday).
HMM...we must really handle the BUTTON well. It's dangerous. Anything can happen to us and to people around us if we fix the wrong setting...
18 January 2008
17 January 2008
BUGS
I HATE bugs!!!!
They annoyed me until i could not stand anymore. I hate bee, I hate moth and I hate beetle!!!
Few nights before, my sleep was disturbed by a beetle. It was flying around my dim light. On and off I got up from my sleep because I'm afraid it may bug on my shirt or something. Then, last night, before I went out. I went to bathroom, a moth suddenly flew in front of me. It hit my lips. What the....!
After I got home, I was going to lie on my bed. I was stung by a bee. It was dark, I couldn't see that stupid thing on my bed. Then I got up, told my mum about it and mum went in to my room, trying to kill it. But it played hide and seek with us. We lost at the end. Whole night I dare not sleep soundly. Sigh...
What's their problem? Why kept disturbing me? Oh man, I've had enough of these!
They annoyed me until i could not stand anymore. I hate bee, I hate moth and I hate beetle!!!
Few nights before, my sleep was disturbed by a beetle. It was flying around my dim light. On and off I got up from my sleep because I'm afraid it may bug on my shirt or something. Then, last night, before I went out. I went to bathroom, a moth suddenly flew in front of me. It hit my lips. What the....!
After I got home, I was going to lie on my bed. I was stung by a bee. It was dark, I couldn't see that stupid thing on my bed. Then I got up, told my mum about it and mum went in to my room, trying to kill it. But it played hide and seek with us. We lost at the end. Whole night I dare not sleep soundly. Sigh...
What's their problem? Why kept disturbing me? Oh man, I've had enough of these!
Too Silent
Being comfortable with who you are is far more impressive than joining the crowd.
I like this statement!
But lately I seemed unable to accept some people who have less words. I am one of them in a crowd though. Well, maybe I prefer a more joyful and a bit noisy work environment. At least talk about something during lunch or whenever we have free time.
My time really passed very slowly with the silence in the center. I seldom on radio lately. Previously, the first thing I'll do once I stepped in to the center was switch on the radio. Now, i can literally hear the sounds of the spinning fans very clearly though there are 4 of us there. Hmmm... Maybe we are still not comfortable with each other.
hmmm...I always looked silly in the center. I tend to look for topic to talk about but today I just did not have any topic. hmmm...
I'm trying to accept the fact but still hoping for miracle to happen:P
I like this statement!
But lately I seemed unable to accept some people who have less words. I am one of them in a crowd though. Well, maybe I prefer a more joyful and a bit noisy work environment. At least talk about something during lunch or whenever we have free time.
My time really passed very slowly with the silence in the center. I seldom on radio lately. Previously, the first thing I'll do once I stepped in to the center was switch on the radio. Now, i can literally hear the sounds of the spinning fans very clearly though there are 4 of us there. Hmmm... Maybe we are still not comfortable with each other.
hmmm...I always looked silly in the center. I tend to look for topic to talk about but today I just did not have any topic. hmmm...
I'm trying to accept the fact but still hoping for miracle to happen:P
16 January 2008
Peter
My sister is well now. She started talking today. Hmm... I taught her driving this morning because we reached center very early and no one was there yet.
I was quite afraid.
Before I went for driving lessons, Peter taught me a few times at Stadium Indera Mulia and let me practice at different places. He let me drive his car. He is one of the people that i admire. He is very generous, he does not support pirated stuff. He does not even let people rip songs from his CDs. He is that convicted. He provided many of my needs and wants. The car that I'm driving now was bought over from him as well.
If I did not have this friend i think i'll not have the courage to teach my sister. I'm not rich, anything happens to my car I'll have to spend for the repairs, which can be very costly. He bought me CDs or give me CDs and books. And i'm doing that to some of my friends also.
He really influenced me a lot. I learned to be generous, i learned to be practical, i learned to be helpful. The first movie that i made for Vineyard Keepers was from the videos and pictures that he took there during their Thanksgiving Night. I learned a lot of things from him, really.
He is really like a brother who cares very much. My own sister never did that to me. He is another person that i'll not forget in my life. The first person who shook my hand in the church, then our friendship was built. My "driver" for many years, haha!
From Ipoh to Kelantan and basically when i needed lifts, he'll send. The person who prayed with me in front of my house after my father fits in the middle of the night.
I really thank God for him. The support that he gave in many ways. Hope he is serving happily in KL and may God grant him a fruitful life!
I was quite afraid.
Before I went for driving lessons, Peter taught me a few times at Stadium Indera Mulia and let me practice at different places. He let me drive his car. He is one of the people that i admire. He is very generous, he does not support pirated stuff. He does not even let people rip songs from his CDs. He is that convicted. He provided many of my needs and wants. The car that I'm driving now was bought over from him as well.
If I did not have this friend i think i'll not have the courage to teach my sister. I'm not rich, anything happens to my car I'll have to spend for the repairs, which can be very costly. He bought me CDs or give me CDs and books. And i'm doing that to some of my friends also.
He really influenced me a lot. I learned to be generous, i learned to be practical, i learned to be helpful. The first movie that i made for Vineyard Keepers was from the videos and pictures that he took there during their Thanksgiving Night. I learned a lot of things from him, really.
He is really like a brother who cares very much. My own sister never did that to me. He is another person that i'll not forget in my life. The first person who shook my hand in the church, then our friendship was built. My "driver" for many years, haha!
From Ipoh to Kelantan and basically when i needed lifts, he'll send. The person who prayed with me in front of my house after my father fits in the middle of the night.
I really thank God for him. The support that he gave in many ways. Hope he is serving happily in KL and may God grant him a fruitful life!
15 January 2008
Talk Too Much
It's another new year. There are reports to distribute. Yeah, the children's reports and their latest educational plans. Many of the parents are not highly educated. So i gotta explain to them line by line, and translating it line by line.
At first my throat started to feel dry then sore throat and swollen gums came. Now it turned out to be flu. E.N.T. --Ear, Nose and Throat, they are linked together that's how it happened. I'm feeling very tired. Not only physically but emotionally.
I'm very afraid that I'll get the same problems as last year. I'm very afraid that I cannot lead well. There are new people, i kept thinking how to help them understand the work better, how to provide the best service to the kids, then i got afraid that i may confuse them even more!! Sigh...
(That's how i got tired!)
I'm not sure if it's my problem or that person's problem. He couldn't get my point most of the time. This actually stressed me out a lot. I felt that I'm a failure, wondering why i couldn't deliver my instructions well. Maybe we both have the same problem. I don't know. I'm trying my best to give clear instructions and making sure that he gets me. I just hope that this can help reduce our stress. Also don't want to make him feel that he always carried out the wrong thing as it could be my problem.
Glad to see improvement in everyone. Hoping that we can work well together. May God unite us!!! Keep it up...
I'm very lazy to write 'coz i have been talking a lot. *TIRED*
At first my throat started to feel dry then sore throat and swollen gums came. Now it turned out to be flu. E.N.T. --Ear, Nose and Throat, they are linked together that's how it happened. I'm feeling very tired. Not only physically but emotionally.
I'm very afraid that I'll get the same problems as last year. I'm very afraid that I cannot lead well. There are new people, i kept thinking how to help them understand the work better, how to provide the best service to the kids, then i got afraid that i may confuse them even more!! Sigh...
(That's how i got tired!)
I'm not sure if it's my problem or that person's problem. He couldn't get my point most of the time. This actually stressed me out a lot. I felt that I'm a failure, wondering why i couldn't deliver my instructions well. Maybe we both have the same problem. I don't know. I'm trying my best to give clear instructions and making sure that he gets me. I just hope that this can help reduce our stress. Also don't want to make him feel that he always carried out the wrong thing as it could be my problem.
Glad to see improvement in everyone. Hoping that we can work well together. May God unite us!!! Keep it up...
I'm very lazy to write 'coz i have been talking a lot. *TIRED*
I don't know What's wrong
I really do not know what's wrong with my sister since last night. I asked her but she said she doesn't know. She kept crying last night. sigh... Today she was better but she did not talk whole day.
I prayed for her this morning. Nothing else I can do. I'm wondering if it's me who caused her to be sad or is she having some personal struggles...a lot of questions in my mind. I want to care but she refused to let me care. maybe she is not ready.
*shrug*
I prayed for her this morning. Nothing else I can do. I'm wondering if it's me who caused her to be sad or is she having some personal struggles...a lot of questions in my mind. I want to care but she refused to let me care. maybe she is not ready.
*shrug*
13 January 2008
Mission
After the MLM today, I got to crack my head to find out what is my mission in life. My mission? I know i have, i just couldn't gather my mind yet. Maybe I did not have that focus that's why I couldn't tell right away. Or am i still searching. I need help in this...
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