E-lephant

These are Wan Keen's elephant. She made them with dough after watching the National Geographic kind of program on the TV. She is really good at it. Except the second one, the others really look quite real to me. She bought this dough from school with RM0.10. Hahaha... Yeah, it's impossible to get it at such cost. So the next day my mum went to school to ask the bookshop keeper. He said he had no choice but to sell to her at that price, because she was crying. Hahaha... That's so wrong.

People pampered her a lot in school. Many people pity her because she is trapped in this kinda problem- her Autism, but doesn't mean that she doesn't know anything about social or anything about life. She is smart enough to use crying to get what she wants. Kids are like that, aren't they? Crying is their weapon.
So mum got her to pay back the shop keeper the right amount of money. Then the next day, mum gave her more money so that she will have enough to buy other things on her own. And kept reminding her not to buy when she has no money. Hopefully she already understood this concept. Hmm...

When the elephants are traveling in the dark... E-lephant... E-lephnat... She always sings that and then laughs non- stop. hahaha...

This drink is from Singapore. The packaging is creative but the drinks inside is not that attractive la. You can check the ingredients to find out what drinks is that. I got it from 7-eleven. There's another one called "Anything?". It's carbonated drinks. i was quite not happy with what I got because I forgot to check. I got the most common one- Chrysanthemum Tea. Disappointed...

When you feel like saying "Whatever", drink whatever.

noroomnospace

ThesoundofdraggingindoorslippersThesoundoffactory
ThesoundofgossipsThesoundofblamesThesoundofpeople
chattingThesoundofcryingchildrenThesoundoflaughing
childrenThesoundofphonesThesoundofflippingfilesThe
soundofslammingdoorsThescreamsThenagsThequestionsMy
heartbeatMybreatheMynameNoisenoiseNoisenoiseNoisenoise
NoisenoiseThereisnoroomforpeacenospaceatallNotatallJust
likethetypingherenospaceatallOhmanI'mhopingforabreakfrom
everythingelse!

The Jar of Alabaster

Today, I was talking about a sinful woman anointed Jesus with a jar of alabaster which was filled with sweet- smelling ointment with the kids. She was a very sinful lady and nobody would welcome her because of what she had done, the mistakes and the sins that she had committed. However, this sinful woman acknowledged her sins and wanted to repent. She turned to Jesus when she got to know that Jesus was dining at Simon's place. Simon was a pharisee and he was a rude man.

In those day, they were to walk on the sand bare footed or with slippers if I'm not mistaken so the custom was whenever you invite guests to your house, you gotta serve them with a tub of water to wash their hands and feet before they enter your house; you gotta give them olive oil too to put on their hands and head and they greet each other with kiss also.

So, Simon was the one who invited Jesus to his house. But he was very rude to his guests. he did not do anything mentioned above at all. So the guests started eating without their hands and feet washed.

Back to the sinful woman, she knew that Jesus came so she grabbed her jar of alabaster, which was filled with sweet- smelling ointment, off she went to Simon's house. She went in and she felt so sorry for what she had done. So she cried and cried and cried. She was seeking help from Jesus. She washed Jesus feet with her tears and wiped them dry with her long hair. Then she kissed Jesus feet gently and poured the sweet- smelling ointment on his feet.

Simon, whom was a very fussy person, of course he was not happy to have this sinful lady in his house or even near it. He was wondering why Jesus, who claimed that He is God, would allow this sinful woman to get near Him, worse still, to kiss his feet. Jesus heard him and Jesus explained to Him by telling him a little story. He said two man owed another man money, one with big sums and the other with small sums. Both of them couldn't afford to pay their debts, but the man had forgiven them both. He asked him which of these two would love the other man most?

Simon replied," I suppose the one who was forgiven most."

Then Jesus said," Do you see this woman? She is far more kind and loving than you have been. When I came into your house, you didn't give Me any water to wash My feet, but she washed them with her tears. You didn't give me a kiss of welcome, but she has even been kissing My feet. You didn't pour cheap and ordinary oil on My head, as i s usually done, but she poured costly ointment on My feet. So her many sins are forgiven because she has loved me so much."

This is roughly the story.

I really wondered how much tears she had shed to have Jesus' feet washed. I really wonder. She needed to be real humble to kiss Jesus' feet. How many of us can do that, do not talk about kiss, we may not even be able to wash each other feet. And I felt that some times we can be like Simon. He disliked Jesus so he treated him with less courteous. We may treat people whom we dislike bad too. We can hurt them with words, with our action and with out attitude towards that relationship. We often reject or avoid people like ex- drug addicts or ex- prostitute, people with AIDS and people with disabilities. Some of us may even reject our own family members because of who they are, their lowly paid jobs and their background.

If we can start appreciating people and things around us regardless of their background, their condition, we will surely find that this world is full of love. When we start accepting each other, we are making a difference to that particular person's life. When we start giving thanks to God for what He has provided for us, we will always feel contented and would not yield to temptation easily. We know who we are and we'll clearly see the purpose of our life on earth. Because those earthly things will no longer blind our eyes.

How Can I?

After the first post of the day, I viewed my blog, there and then only I saw today's date! GUESS WHAT? It's WAN KEEN's BIRTHDAY! Oh man, I nearly forgot. I'm gonna bring her out to buy a birthday cake later and celebrate with her as my 2 sisters are back. Yeah! They are just in time!


When I got to know it's her birthday, I was really amazed by God's grace! It's His grace that had brought her thus far. He helped her through her life's journey. All the protection, all the provision and all the love that people are showering upon her! Till here, tears are rolling down my cheeks. God is really faithful, whatever He gives, He'll take care. He gave us Wan Keen and He has not been pausing the blessing. He's such a good God and He does what He promises.


Wan Keen went through a lot. She went through rejections from the people around her, her peers and even her teachers. I understand that it's not easy to accept her. She couldn't help when she couldn't find a way to communicate, she suffered from a lot of stress when people around her couldn't understand her. She did not understand anything about danger and she nearly knocked down by car few times. She was lost because she did not know what to expect. Thanks to those people to discover this Visual Strategy that she started to know how to bathe with visual guidance. She understood her routines with visual guidance, she had less stress, as she knew what to expect.


She has talent in music and drawings, God enabled her to get the prize and this brought us joy too. She loves piano, she loves drums, guitars and she can make a tissue box guitar and make music from there too, just with rubber bands. We were so amazed. She is such a talented gal.


This brought me to sing this song again: I'll sing to You Lord, a hymn of love, for Your faithfulness to me, I'm carried in everlasting arms, You'll NEVER let me go! Halleluyah...

Weekdays Christian

I often heard people talking about Sunday Christians, which means, Christians will go to church, trying to be holy on that day, read the bible on that day, sing praises to God on that day, pray on that day and fellowship with each other on that day. Did I get the concept right?


Well, as for me, I think, I'm a weekdays Christians, I pray to God everyday, from Monday to Friday, I do my quiet time from Mondays to Fridays, almost without fail. When comes to weekends, well, I can't deny that I've activities in church still, but I often neglected my quiet time on these 2 days. It's so hard for me to get into it. During weekedns I can hardly focus except when I'm worshipping in church.


I'm following a series of bible study called 2:7 Series. I am required to do my journal for my Bible Reading Highlight Record for 14 consecutive days. Until now I still have not done. The reason is I only do my quiet time on weekdays, on and off I'll do it on weekends. Sigh... Some times this BRHR thing really make feel that I'm a failure. hahaha... Discipline problem I know. That's what Kok Ming always says about me.

Solution?

Almost one week later. This is what happened. His mum bought a helmet for him as a protection. If you do not know what kinda helmet is this, let me tell you. It's a Taekwando helmet. I'm not sure if it's called helmet though :) It's very soft, but I'm not sure if it's suitable for him.

So sad to see him like that. I'm gonna meet up with his mother on Monday! I wanna question her as well as check with her about his condition, wanna check his medication and the frequency of his fits. I hope after the meeting his mum, they'll start charting the frequency of his fits. So that we will be able to see the pattern.

Pray for protection over him. My heart still ache when I see him.

Through It All

Through It All

You are forever in my life
You see me through the seasons
Cover me with Your hand
And lead me in Your righteousness

And I look to You
And I wait on You
I will sing to You, LordA hymn of love
For Your faithfulness to me
I'm carried in everlasting arms
You'll never let me go
Through it allHallelujah,
hallelujah

I'm stuck with this song lately. I think I've been singing this song for almost two to three weeks already. I trust that God will help me through all things. I really trust that God will never let me go. I hope my loved ones will be able to know this truth too. God is always with us. He has been helping us without making it known to us. Well, I mean, He protects us everyday even if we do not ask him to, He provides for us everday, every hour, every minute and every second, breath to take and energy to use.

We are so awful because we are using things that He provides for us and we thought it comes naturally. We get those things without even contributing anything in the first place. It wasn't us who created the air, the earth, the sky and the energy that we are using and experiencing now, they are all from God.

Then we turn everything original to spicy until we can't take it. Look at the pollution nowadays, look at the weather nowadays. It's kinda sad to see that and to know that we humans are so D*** We thought we are God really. And now people come up with recycle stuff etc to help protect the earth. This is what God calls, we are sinners. But God gives us second chance, He want us to turn to Him and we will be cleansed. And when we get closer to Him, we will try to sin less. This is the ultimate solution.

Hate Hemoroid Hate

Ahaha...It's my fourth post of the day. hehe... Too long did not post anything here. I was just so lazy to get online. Haiz...

I was so stressful last week, I think it was last week. i wasn't in good shape and I was having a lot of health problem. I... I... I...even had Hemoroid. Man, I was kinda freaked out by this thing. If you know about Hemoroid. It usually happens when you open bowel right? But for me, it not only happened when I opened my bowel. It happened when I urinate also. Man, I thought it was my menses but it was not!

Yeah, I did not handle my stress well. But now it was gone already. No more bloody thing! Hmmm... Thanks for those who prayed for me! So glad that it's gone now! I don't wanna see this happen again! Oh please! Not again!

Pen vs. Pencil

When did I start using pen? I remember I started using pen when I was in standard 4. It was a compulsory thing. So every homework or anything that we write, we were not allowed to use pencil. I mean when we did it in the exercise books. Of course when we copied notes into our personal notebook, it wasn't a problem.

I remember very well what my teacher commented on somebody or it maybe me. I'm not very sure. Yeah, I think it was me. I wasn't confident enough to use pen to write the answer most of the time I think. So I'll use pencil to write it down first. So the teacher said," When you are doing this, it reflects your level of confidence."

This comment came back to me when one of my colleagues was telling me what had happened to her yesterday. yesterday was a hectic day for her. She got a few reports to write but she did not have enough time. So she thought of bringing the files back to complete them. But she was not bringing it home to write the reports. She thought she would complete them in her car while waiting for her son to finish tuition. Some how, she forgot to bring a pencil along and her son had got only one mechanical pencil. So she couldn't do it. She brought the files back today. She was quite frustrated with her son because he has only one pencil in his pencil case. She was thinking what if that machanical pencil is broken or missing, how is he gonna do his work in school or tuition center.

You may wonder why not she use pen? Haha... Actually, she is the only one who uses pencil in our center because she has no confidence to write with a pen. I heard her story before I went to toilet. When I was in the toilet, this thought came to me. Look at the characteristic of a pen and a pencil, it reflects the intensity of confidence also. The mark than a pen makes is more solid. And the mark of a pencil is weak. No matter how dark the pencil lead is, sooner or later it will look weaker than the mark of a pen.

It's just a random thought.

*SOB*

This is a child with Epilepsy. He was diagnosed to have fits last year when I noticed his eye balls jumping up and down non stop and when we called him, he did not give any response. But he looked conscious. Last year after seeing him fits like that, we suggested the mother to bring him to the doctor. And true enough, he had it. Sad!

He was still fine until his fits got serious. Whenever he fits, he will tend to fall forward. When he fits, he cannot control his body, so he will always knock his head on the table no matter where he is. It can happen when he is walking, sitting or eating. Not long ago, he already knocked his front tooth off.

Last thursday, it was my turn to teach him, without any notice, he knocked his head on the table. I was shocked by him. Well, that wasn't serious and i started to worry about him. Yesterday, he came in the morning, every morning we will open our day with a prayer together, so I prayed for him and hoping that the Lord will protect him. When he arrived, what we saw was what the photo is showing. My tears nearly flowed down. My heart was like bleeding. When I was teaching him, I really couldn't imagine how he suffered. My heart really ache.

Sigh!!! WHY??! But thank God for keeping him save.

Read from bottom to top :P

On our way home. Look at the mountain in front of us, I thought it was nice. hmmm... It's kinda heavy hearted when I was heading home.

After lunch we went to her room just to spend the last few hours together. We were lying on her bed and we took a picture together, yea, only wan keen and me together because she was trying to fill up some of the forms before her orientation started. Hahaha... Wan Keen kept laughing. Look at her? Sigh...

Haha... Here's her toiletries compartment. Hmmm...

This is one of the compartment. I just took for fun because after cleaning up I had nothing to do there. So spending my time snapping some photos related to her.

This is her cupboard. Haha... I was not sure if she was gonna shift again so I told her not to unpack everything until the end of the orientation. Well, she told me she gotta shift to a new block after her first semester.

She is changing her slippers. Haha... We brought along broom and mop which her room mate did not bring any of those. Good start for them to share things :) Her room mate looked very cool and fierce you know. She did not say a single word even with her family. Maybe she was going through transition problem. And there were a lot more things to settle like the PTPTN loan and other registration things.

The "Last" picture with Wan Keen. Look at Wan Keen, she just liked taking pictures.

Heh, after cleaning her room. It looked much cozy, or much like a room. Hmm... Quite comfortable though everything was smaller than USM Penang. Haha... Yea, I still prefer USM. I put the cross there. Not sure where she placed it now. I did not ask.

The first person who slept on the bed was not wan sian. Haha... Who else if not Wan Keen? She was the first one to lie on the bed, happily.

Here's her room. It was extremely dusty. Her room mate reached before her. So she got no choice to choose her bed, cupboard, table etc. But everything was in not VERY terrible condition. At least better than the one we saw downstairs.

Here's her college office if I'm not mistaken. Here's the last the last station. After this, she could proceed to her room.

One of the station. Hahaha... I was accompanying her. Other parents and family were waiting down there. Hehe... She wont feel shameful one because she needed company.

Here is a picture showing her going up to the office to continue her registration procedures.

This was a gift for my sister when she left for uni. Hmm... Now that she had left, now my house left 4 of us only. At times really feel quiet. I often dragged my sister along to have supper or to have snacks outside. We went to Malay night market together. We enjoyed food together. Hahaha... Nobody shares my junks now. My chocolates, Mamee, yogurt drinks, fruit juice, Cheezels, rice crackers etc etc. Hmmm...

Play our Role

Oh man, I was so busy and so tired now! We had a new kid today. He's Benjamin Soong, known as Benji. He was quite good for a first timer in the center. He is only 2 years old. He's very chubby. He got lots of baby fat seriously. I can only feel his flesh when I hold his hand. His tummy is big and he is so cheerful! The mother is weird to me because she viewed her son as if he's an alien. Well, I don't blame her because this is her first child. She was like can't imagine how her son can learn and will be able to acquire the skills that we targeted for him.

Having a baby is suppose to be a joyful thing for the family. It supposed to be... However these bunch of parents get endless worries and hurts after they delivered their babies. Some thought after a safe delivery, they are safe. Who knows when their sons or daughters reach 2 or 3 years old, they discover some differences between their children and others. They start to question why their sweethearts have no speech yet, why they lost their first words after a while, while no eye contact from them, why are they so cranky all the time, why they dislike cuddles even from the family members and why they have sleep disorder and so on...

Then they start to ask around and they are suggested to see a doctor and then they will get the diagnosis from the doctor. That's when their despair starts. Some mothers go into depression and are not able to accept their children and some start seeking for help from then on. They start to look for early intervention center, speech therapy, physiotherapy or occupational therapy. Some even start to look for tuition for the kids and they don't mind spending as long as it may help the kids. Some of them even seek help from the bomohs.

These are the scenario of my parents in the center. They really need much support from the service providers and their family. They may seem to accept the child, however, deep down in their hearts, there are endless worries and questions. They are still seeking the answer and they are still seeking help from every where no matter what kinda services they are receiving now. Some times they may confuse their children even more.

As a service provider, our responsibility is not only to teach the children, we are to encourage the parents and give them comfort and assurance when need to. Our responds and our comments to the child is very important. The way we convey our message will affect the parents' emotions and they may feel discouraged if our respond is always negative. When we are teaching them, we really need to practice patience. We maybe frustrated because of the behavior of the child, but we should not show it on our face or express it verbally to the parents. We need to find our way out. Using the appropriate method will help the child work better and to avoid ourselves from being annoyed.

This is our responsibility. When we face difficulties in teaching these children, before we can complain about the children, we should check ourselves. How well are we doing? Are we helping them to solve the problems in learning or are we there to add burdens to the parents? What's our mission as a special education teacher? Is beating, shouting, blaming the right methods? What can we do about it? What is our responsibility? I disallowed my teachers to use cane, I even banned my parents from using it. I want them to communicate with the children, I want them to help the children listen to instructions instead of listening/ obeying the cane. Are we not worth of any respect? The cane is gaining respect from the children. What are we then?

I just hope that we are playing our role well. We are to be blamed when we receive any complaints from the parents. That shows that we are not playing our role well. When there's complains, check ourselves instead of blaming them for being demanding or being fault finding. I always believe that the parents are very appreciative. When they complain, that means we really are not playing our role well. I really hope this person can see the problem and start playing his/her role.

So Proud of U, wan keen!

Early of this year, Wan Keen participated a children painting competition organized by Henkel, a German company. They have this project called MIT which stands for Making an impact for Tomorrow. This competition was opened for less fortunate children like orphans or children from poor family. Wan Keen was the special one. She may be the only Autistic kid. There were 653 art works from the children from 23 countries. A preselection was made by a jury in Duesseldorf. Afterwards a second jury of 7 international children and artists living in Duesseldorf chose the final winners. She did it!!!

Wan Keen is one of the 5 winners under the category of 11- 12 years old. Though she is the winner, the prize will be given to our organization. One of the objectives is to encourage and support organizations working with children so that we can continue to serve these children and making an impact for the lives of these children for tomorrow.

We were thinking to hold the prize and certificate ceremony in her school so that her friends can be proud of her and also help open the eyes of the teachers teaching the normal classes, that there are indeed potential in these children and why should they be deprived or anything. And also let other children or parents be encouraged to see Wan Keen up there, receiving a recognition from an international body.

I'm so proud of her! The title for this competition was My Favorite Celebration and my sister chose Chinese New Year as her favorite celebration. Hope she can go even further from here.

YEAH!!! Muaks! We are so proud of her!

Baptism Anniversary?

I did not know today is my 3rd baptism anniversary until somebody sent me this SMS: A blessed 3rd baptism anniversary 2 u. Trust that u r doing well in d Lord...Then only I realized it. Wow, I was baptized on 3rd July 2005 and I accepted Christ on 1st July 2001. Hahaha... That's cool! I must remember it! Yo, I thought today is only my student's birthday. The SMS really surprised me. Thanks Peter for this GREAT reminder and the wishes. Yeah, indeed I'm blessed! This really enlightened my day!

Yeah, today is one of my students' birthday and his mum brought a cake to the center to celebrate his birthday with his friends and teachers. He has been with us for 5 years already.
The birthday boy and his friends. They all have grown up so much! And we spent many years together. I see them grow and they improve very fast each year!

"Hooo-hoo-hoo"! Off it goes!

He really loved his cake. He even tried to cut and distribute to his friends!

Can you see how much he enjoyed his cake? Look at his mouth. haha

Ideal Mate

Phew, finally done the session with the youth. I wasn't well prepared though I was having the book for so long. I started doing it on Thursday and completed on Friday or maybe I should say I completed on Saturday morning 2.30am. Hahaha... I know I'm bad. I was just not in the right mood to prepare that session for the past month. I've been feeling very tired and lazy. But my mind was working on it thinking what to share. Even on Thursday I was so tired but I'd no choice but to force myself to sit in front of the computer and started doing it. Hmm... My mind was so tired and I found it hard to digest what I was reading from the book.

I did not practice my presentation until Saturday morning around 11am. Another round of practice was an hour before the meeting. At first I was not nervous until Carmen came. She said she will ask questions. Hahaha... But at the end. Her question was not answered. :P

Finally completed. There were laughters and silence. I was quite afraid when the youth went silent. Hahaha... I know the girls were attentive and some of the guys were sleepy. I think this sharing spoke to somebody which I was quite afraid at first. I was afraid because one of the statement sounded quite harsh. However, I told myself I must emphasize even more on not to have non- christian bf/ gf. Well, I did my part, and I just wanna leave the rest to God to help them through. I'm sad when I know this thing is happening.

Through this sharing, a lot of bitter sweet memories came to my mind and through this sharing, I really know that I love him so much though he was not what I want, HE IS WHAT I NEED. I really agreed that God always wanna give us the best. There were a lot of guys came across my path but none of them can compete with Kok Ming. He's really an IDEAL for me. Thank God for giving me this opportunity to remember those memories. These memories make me love him even more despite what had happened before.

Another One

This is Lap Foong and his favorite kid, Kai Wai. He really love him so much that he went back to visit him. He even missed him after he left the work. haha...

Here's another child, though he did not really like her, she liked him so much that she called him very often during session. Even after he left, she still wanted him to guide her. She kept crying for him and she wanted nobody else except him.


This is wan sian and lap foong. They have great communication problem. Hahah... they do not understand each other and they needed me to translate what each of them said at times. Lap Foong and I went badminton every Saturday. If it's not him, my skill would not be able to improve. Really thank for your company through out these few months. I enjoyed playing it without pressure. This is our last shutter cock. Hahaha... Cannot be used anymore la.


This is Shanta and Lap Foong. They are quite closed at work also. We often bullied him. And yes, we do miss his presence in the center because with him there will be nosier because everyone made fun out of him. Haha... He disliked it at times. But can't help, he was the only guy in Canning Garden center.

This was one of the activities in the center where we paint on children's face. Look at them, they had fun too. Our children usually do not like it one. They may yell and kick us when we attempt to do it on them. The girl on the right is Huey Leng. She is Vincent's cousin. And she was another part timer over there too. A fun girl to be with!


This is his farewell gift from me. It's kinda hard for me to think of what to give him. I decided to use guitar picks to form this cross for him and hoping that whenever he sees the cross, he will be able to see God's grace and God's mercy. Also hope that he will remember to go to church and continue to seek God! Before he left, I reminded him again and again to find a church to go to. Reminded him not to start any boy-girl relationship with non- Christian. I guessed he also find me being long winded.

Haha...My dear brother, I hope that you will remember my prayers to God for you. Do remember to find a church to go to and do remember how you were drawn closer to Him and the fear that you had before this. God brought you out from there and keep moving on. You are not walking alone. Take good care and see you around soon ya!

Drifting Apart

Today I read some articles from a Magazine, Focus on the Family. There's this article entitled Drifting Apart. I felt that it's interesting. Here it is:

Karen couldn't pinpoint when she and her husband started to drift apart, but she knew they were heading toward danger. She remembered how she used to anticipate her husband's return home from work. Now his arrival seemed like an intrusion. She used to look forward to talking to him about her day. Now, although they live side by side peacefully, they existed in different worlds.

Brent and Kylee noticed a similar drifting. They knew their relationship wasn't what they wanted it to be, but they were juggling jobs, kids and church ministry. For the sake of efficiency, they had learned early in marriage to divide and conquer. But that meant household and parenting responsibilities were divided between them, always taking them in different directions. They gradually became less involved in each other's interest and activities. Even on their date nights, they had no energy left to invest in their relationship.

When couples start out together, their marriage is usually their primary focus, but then kids, jobs and household chores begin to compete for their attention. All these distractions pull them from the helm of their marriage, and they drift away from each other. The drift can be so subtle that by the time the couple realize what's happening, they are already miles apart.

The subtle effects on marital drift can make couples susceptible to infidelity. For both Karen and Kylee, the distance ultimately led to extramarital affairs. But even among couples who remain faithful, gradual drift steals the harmony of marriage.

All of us experience some drifting at times. The key is to recognize when this begin to happen and to take action. Here are some ways to close the distance:
Don't view drift as inevitable. Couples often think they have to put their marriages on the back burner because of the busyness of their particular season of life. But the truth is, you cannot afford to put your marriage on hold. It' s twice as hard to rebuild a neglected relationship than to keep it strong in the first place. Carefully nurture your relationship- in every season of life.

Make time. When you see your marriage suffering, ruthlessly cut back on other commitments to give your marriage the dedication it needs. The obligatory date night is not enough if you are too tired from your hectic schedules to make it meaningful time together.

Overlap your lives. Creatively find ways to be part of your spouse's world as much as you can. Meet for lunch, accompany your spouse on an errand, read a book together or play tennis. Remember the great lengths you went to in order to be together when you were dating; find ways to do that again.

Understand differences. Not appreciating the differences between men and women in general and between you and your spouse in particular can lead to drift. Something that doesn't feel important to you may be critical to your spouse and, thus, to your marriage.

End negative cycles. If you sense that something, no matter how small, is not quite right in your relationship, dont wait until it becomes a big problem before you talk about it. You might just say," Honey, are you feeling frustrated with me? I just don't feel as though we are relating very well." Sometimes a comment like this will root out small resentments that your spouse wasn't consciously aware of.

Focus on fixing yourself. It is easy to find faults in your mate and play the "if only" game. But this feeds discontentment, self- righteousness and unforgiveness. Determine to be the best husband or wife ou can be, regardless of your spouse's faults. Many times you will find that this attitude is contagious and nothing is better for getting a marriage back on course than two committed spouses working to be the best they can be.


-by Dr. Bill Maier and Mitch Temple

No Exceptional

This thing happened long ago. I felt sorry about this for so long. I once forgot about it and after a chat with a friend, it occurred to me again. I carelessly think that people who are successful do not need my care and concern. And I feel that my care and concern will not be good enough for them. So I did not show much care and concern to that friend. I really feel that this friend is too "high end".

After one day and after a conversation, I finally realized that this friend is also a human. This friend needs care and concern. I tried many times to show my gratitudes since few years back, but I couldn't find anything that it's suitable. Sigh... I really think that if i can change a bit, this friend will be more joyful! It's good to feel appreciated. HUMAN needs love. No exceptional, I must remember that.

I cant imagine how can i fail in this. No common sense!