sssrrrrr....OUCH!

Today is the 4th day I took out the dressing of my finger. It's still not straight. It's still like that. My skin looked molded and it was stinky. Started physio and it's exposed to danger everyday. The first day I accidentally hurt my finger when I was bathing. 3 times in a row. Second day which was Monday, my finger was accidentally hit by one of my students with a wooden stick and beads right on the most painful part. I did expressed my pain. Third day my finger was twisted by Kenny when I put my hand around his shoulders. Fourth day, which is today, it's safe and sound as I do not need to work :)


It's still swollen and when the skin started healing, the skin peeled slowly. When my skin was so thin and when I need to do physio, it's darn pain as i need to press on it. It felt like burnt. After applying Skin Repair lotion last night, it looks so much better than this today! I think it is considered healed when the pain is gone. So before the pain is gone, I must do more so that it'll be straighter.

Even after I'd straightened it on the table. The swollen part still can be seen. This part is So painful even when I swing my hand. Hoping that tomorrow will be a safe day for my finger. Hmm... I'm not really afraid of the children. I'm more afraid of the parents because they are very tension. When they think that their children intended to reach my finger, they will have a lot of actions which will hurt my finger more seriously. I wanted to tell them but then sigh... All I can do is to be more careful. I know it's a normal and spontaneous reaction from them. If I were them, I maybe like that too.

It's my Dear mum's birthday

It's my mum's birthday today! As usual I bought a cake for her. I do not know since when I started buying cakes for my family members during their "big" day. That's why she was expecting a cake from me today. Kok Ming asked why not wait for wan sian to come back? I feel that it will lose the meaning to celebrate after the actual date and because I know my mum was anticipating for this moment to come. So better do it to prevent the salt to lose it's saltiness.

Well, the happiest person will be Wan Keen though. As she grows older she finally know that other's birthday cakes are not for her to blow. She waited mum to blow. She finally understands that everyone has a birthday.

So long my Dear girl

One of the students quited our program. At first I do not feel really sad but just worried that she maybe just dump at home without going to school. She's quite a severe case but she understands what we say many times. She won't be coming anymore. Just because of a misunderstanding with another parent and also because the mother does not have time to bring her by herself.

She brought her daughter along yesterday to return the homework that she borrowed from our center. When I finally saw her and knew the fact that I won't be seeing her anymore, my tears swelled. I couldn't hug her as the child doesn't like being cuddled etc. I enjoyed teaching her.

Sigh... Another child gone. Praying hard that God will keep her safe and teach her in His own special way.

A lot of these things happening lately. Maybe this month is the season of sadness and season of disappointment for the parents that I encounter. Well, I bet things are getting better for the mother that I mentioned last time. She did not look for me to talk yesterday. Thank you God. We have been praying for her almost every day together. Now we are waiting for miracle for another child which bothered me a lot and she always being beaten and pinched by school people. According to that child, it was the PPM who pinched her. Sigh... Her naughtiness is unbearable even for my most patient colleague. How can other people tolerate her then? Sad!

Herod's Attitude

I read something which made me try to change my attitude when I go to church on Sundays. In Luke 23 if I'm not mistaken, I read about Herod, who wanted to see Jesus for a long time. He hoped to see Jesus perform miracles as his entertainments. He was disappointed because when he saw Jesus, Jesus was in chains. He couldn't perform any miracles.

In the Devotion part of what I'd read, the writer says,

" Herod reminds me of a lot of Christians. One recent survey suggests that people shop for churches as for a commodity. They check out the agencies. They ask about the preaching. They find out who goes to the church. They listen critically to the choir. Are there enough activities for children? For teens?

Even then all too many come on Sunday and go away disappointed, because for some reason God or the preacher didn't perform well that day. Like Herod, "hoping for a miracle," and God wasn't putting on a special performance for them that day."

This described some of us. Some times we are disappointed by the speaker, the worship session and etc. Well, we can comment on the speaker of the day and we can even comment on the worship that day. But, I wonder if we should walk out of the church or even stay out when certain people come to the front to talk or when there is a poor speaker speaking language that we can't understand? (It means the speaker goes round and round the garden but finds himself in the maze at the end)

The writer continues,

" Can we see this flaws in ourselves? Have we ever stopped to think that church isn't suppose to be entertaining? Church is to be a gathering place for a community of faith; a company of men and women who worship the crucified Saviour, and who commit themselves to minister to a lost and suffering mankind."

Though I seldom walk out half way during the worship, I find myself guilty of finding the church as an entertaining place for me. I expect God to perform some miracles during the day some times and some times I sigh when certain people talk too long. My attitude is wrong.
What about you?

22nd Sept 2008

This date is quite a significant date for me and my family. It's the day that Wan Keen will receive her prize for the International Drawing Competition. The ceremony will be held in her school during the assembly. I foresee this will bring a lot of jealousy from some of the troublesome parents in that school. And it's gonna be a very proud thing for the school on the other hand.

This is the day that the Lord has made!

Recently, almost every Tuesday and every Friday I cannot finish my work. Almost every Tuesday and Friday I off work late because one of the mothers was "bugging" me. She needs listening ears and she needs comfort. Before I know that her problem is such serious to her that she broke down in front of me, I was just entertaining her as she always rushes me for the visual cards which I couldn't get it done for her that soon. I just thought that it's another Q and A thing.

Sigh...

She often asked very general questions which I answered her very quickly. Then i quickly finished my work so that I do not have to bring it back home or leave it for another week. That day she broke down suddenly because her son's headmistress refused to let her son to go to K1. Her son is already 5years old and the headmistress wants to keep him in nursery. But his academic skill is much better than quite a lot of normal kids. She was very upset over this and she broke down twice.

There's another child. She has been very "naughty". She kept disturbing people around her and she is very disobedient. Some where is wrong in her life i know. Maybe it's because life without father and life without peers at home that make her attention seeking. Her mother looked very down today and she called me up before I went meeting just now. She asked if I saw any whip mark on her daughter's leg.

She already changed a few schools. It's sad that her mum decided not to let her go school so often as the teachers did not teach in class. They always stay in the TV room. Sigh... Sad!!! It's a tough journey for the special kids. The society rejects them. Even their family members reject them. Parents striving to get them involved but people are trying to segregate them. One side pulls and the other side also pulls. The battle is really not easy!

Wake Up my world!

This is the first time I joined the recent care group. It did bring back a lot of memories when I joined the care group that was led by Peter Chang. There wasn't many people but most of them were very closed to each other. There were a lot of short sharing and there were people playing guitar when we sang song from the youth song book.

Hmm... There was a kind of feeling rushing from my heart. Maybe I felt touched or maybe I miss that care group time. I used to pour out my problems to some of the people there and I became more and more reserved now. We often gathered in a room, just a small room and some times we go to houses. Well... The care group died maybe because many people went other places to study.

I also feel that Christian youths are very "bahagia" because at their very young age, they can go to different people's house to have fellowship. In my study years, I did not have that. I was "trapped" in a house and all my activities were just at home. Hmm... That was why I liked going tuition. haha... Those were the years...

Toy Museum 6-- Others 1

Doraemon & 101 Dalmation

The Incredibles

Ninja Turtles

Mr. Bean

KM as a CLOWN?

I saw a clown on Saturday in Jusco. I went alone and that was a very fat clown. In fact, that was the first time I saw a FAT clown. The clown was quite tall also. It was like a giant to me. Hahaha... I purposely passed by the clown and my eyes kept staring at his tummy then his face. I wanted to poke his tummy to see if it's real. He wore a pair of spectacles without glasses and he looked very cute. He is not like those that I often see--slim and tall.

Right after that I begin to imagine Kok Ming in that suit and with that make up and glasses. Hahaha... He is gonna be really cute!

I admire clowns, they are trained to make the kids' day wonderful and, they give balloons with a lot of shapes to the children- any shapes/ object that the children want. With the way they dress, with their make up and with their skill, they gain the hearts of the children. They make the children's day different.

Imagine if we are wearing clothes that God gives us, clothes that are full of His glory. Imagine if we have a face like God- loving, peaceful and comforting (etc). Imagine if we have God's people skill. I think we will be able to impact other's lives greatly. How to have the clothes, the face and the skill? Well, I guess, it's only by meditating on His word. Let's be encouraged to keep studying His Word and apply it into our daily lives. I want to be a full time Christians who will study the bible from Sunday to Saturday and not only during weekdays! Sigh...

Toy Museum 5-- Starwars

Toy Museum 4-- Batman

It's very hard to take Batman's pictures because it's placed in a cupboard with glass. So it's really hard to shoot a full size one. The reflection is too great because batman is in black.

Toy Museum 3-- Superman & Spiderman

Toy Museum 2-- Pirates of the Carribean

Toy Museum 1--The Barbies

DreamZzz...

Last night I had a dream. It was like a drama style which involved people that I know. Sad thing is I forgot who were they and what issue were they dealing with. When my alarm rang, I got up with an impression like this:

What if your parents are not your parents?
What if your siblings are not yours?
What if your wife/ husband is not your wife/ husband?
What if your work is not gonna be yours anymore?
What if your friends all leave you?
What if...my world falls apart?
*Heh, sounds familiar I know, but it's appropriate for me to use it here eh!*

I really do not know what had happened in my dream that I had this impression. Well, it's OK. This is good because this brought me back to the issue of WHAT IS YOUR IDENTITY? and WHO ARE YOU?
I used to hate these questions because I found it hard to answer. Many times, I was asked these questions. Many of us do not know our identity, well maybe I can tell people that I'm who and who's friend/ daughter/sister. I can also tell where I'm working and what is my nature of work. I can tell them about my interests and my general background. Oh well, these show who I am, no doubt.

When I think deeply, these are only part of me. People find out who I am seeing the way I portray myself, the way I work. They start to find out more about me. They start to see my strength and my weakness. This is what people see. For myself, I would say that I'm a lost soul before I know Christ. I seriously did not know where and what I'll be heading to. Am I here on earth just to fill the space? I don't want to be here just to fill up the space.

Right now, even if I may not know what will happen to me 5 years down the road, I'm secured because I know that God will show me the way and help me when I'm standing at the crossroad. My purpose of life is described in Matthew 28:18- 20. It's about the great commission. Am I doing it? When the Lord shows me, I'll do it. And I'll not be able to do it when I'm overcome by fear!

How would I answer these questions? Frankly, I still do not have a straight forward answer. But I know that I live for a purpose and I am more than a conqueror. * I'm stuck with this quote after the Sunday School Training Workshop *wink* I belong to God even when my world falls apart, He stands forever and ever!

Please Welcome... Fuwa 3, Huan Huan

This was taken when Wan Keen was colouring Huan Huan. Huan Huan took part in shooting :)
Yeah, this picture was done yesterday evening. This time, I taught her to add in background. She filled the whole art block with guidance. She needs guidance to colour gently. She complained tired when she was asked to do that.

No bad, her Huan Huan looks nice. Hmm... Next one will be Ying Ying. Not sure what she wants Ying Ying to take part. She has not told me yet. Let's see... I think tomorrow she will draw one as I'll be free to guide her. It's holiday! I'll enjoy my Monday because the rest of the week will be very hectic. I have one colleague less and one volunteer more. Tomorrow will be the first day for the volunteer so nothing much he can do besides observing and tagging. Hope I'll have enough time to brief him roughly.

FUWA

These two are Wan Keen's new proper drawings :) Proper because she will do it properly and neatly when there is somebody sitting next to her. Her coloring skill is bad but after attending her art class, she improved. She is very happy to draw. No bad behavior at all. She just loves it so much. She can sit and colour for hours unless I make noise that annoys her :P


Here's another one. This is Archery in case you cannot see. She fell in love to these Fuwa! She thought of what she wanted to draw then tell me and then I guided her verbally. Hmm... Actually one of these will be given to the Pengarah of the Jabatan Pendidikan Negeri, if I did not remember wrongly.

The next thing that she wanna draw will be Shooting. The next Fuwa will be Huan Huan. She likes Bei Bei alot! She was so disappointed because during the opening of the Olympics, she couldn't see the Fuwa! We kept telling her to stay tuned to look at the Fuwa jumping up and down, BUT... Sad for her also...

Wan Keen, Wan Keen...

Umm... It's still crooked. Sigh..It's pain without the wood to support. I can't see the original hand anymore. This add to my beautiful life- puzzle. Hmm... I will not forget what is Frisbee for the rest of my life as this is a gift from that round thing. Probably it will stay like now, crooked for the rest of my life. No big deal, but this bothers me much.

It was clothed with a new clothe? haha... According to Kok Ming, this will make my finger more comfortable, it became bigger and clumsier too. It'll take me another one or two weeks. Then only see how.

This morning, I suddenly thought of Jesus' wounds and how much He had endured and suffered even after all the whippings etc. His wounds were exposed to the air, to the sun or water and dust. How can my pain compare to the pain that is really called pain?
There's no greater love than His love and there's no greater pain than the pain that He had gone through.

Whatever God has given, use it before it is too late. Appreciate every single part of our body, everything that is around us, even things that seem unimportant to us at the moment. When we lose it, we will know the importance of that thing or even people.

Look, does it look robotic? I do not like it on my finger! Not because it looks ugly, it's because i can't function well.

26082001-26082008

Yo! It's 26th Aug 2008.

26th Aug 2001 was the first day of our courtship. Yeah, it's the 7th year today! Well, we did not celebrate this day on purpose. And not every year we remember this date. Haha... Some times I remember, some times I don't.

This year I did and he did. Nothing really special. I remember our first date was in KL. I was studying and he came to visit me. he explored the way to my college and after my last lecture of the day, we went to a hawker center for dinner I think. When we were having out meal, the sky became very dark and the wind blew like tornado. The hawker stalls were blown away (they actually rolled away because of the strong wind). And the stalls hit each other so we can hear the glass breaking sound. It was so scary until I asked God," Are you telling me that I shouldn't start with him?"

It was so dramatic. Hahaha... But thank God for him who has been and still supporting me though we failed each other many times. Thank God for giving us a forgiving heart too.

Second Injury

It's straighter when I put it on a flat surface.

This was what happened to me. I couldn't recall how it happened. I can only remember a great pain rushed in after the score. Yes! It was Frisbee again, this time is on my finger. The Frisbee hit my finger after the score. After I caught the Frisbee, my finger went crooked. It was so painful that I kept holding it and rubbing it, trying to make it straight again.

I was kinda worry about it. I told one of them but he did not really bother. He asked me to show Kok Ming. Well, it's Ok. I just wanted to release my worries because I couldn't make it straight no matter how. One of the girls helped me rub my finger also, trying to make it straight again. Kok Ming was still playing football.

After another few games, Kok Ming passed by, I showed him. He pulled it so hard to make it straight, it was so painful until I beat him. I tried to make it straight as he told me to until the game ended. But it was still very painful. It was even more painful after the game. I couldn't stop frowning.

When I lifted my palm, this ring man just couldn't relax himself.

The bruise started to appear. Still crooked and it was getting worse. Until I met Kok Ming, he went to Pharmacy to get bandage and stuff. Then he bandaged my finger. He needed to press the crooked part to make it straight like the tongue depressor. Oh man, I yelled because of the pain. I yelled because of pain for the first time.

I tried hard to control and to endure because I did not want to make him nervous as he loves me. It's hard to see your loved ones in pain. Phew! This bothers me so much because I'm afraid that that part of my finger cannot bend anymore. My motor skill is already very bad. I really do not hope to become worse.

My ligament is torn according to Kok Ming, still under observation, but most probably no fracture, hope so!

I can really, really feel what the Bible describes, when one part of your body suffers, all parts suffer together. It's SO real to me now. This finger seems unimportant, in fact it's quite important. It's hard to turn the knob of the door without this finger; it's hard to unbutton when I need to go toilet; it's hard to type; it's hard to hold things especially heavy things; children are curious about it and some of them thought it's a new toy and started pulling it; I couldn't carry tables etc. SAD!

Thanks to my colleagues who helped me a lot today. It was a hectic day. All of us were so busy! I claimed to be observant but only today I knew that when I need to go out of a room, I need to use my left hand to turn the knob. And when I need to go in, I gotta use my right hand to turn it or press it. I did not know before this. There are many others things that we left out, we miss just because we are too used to our way of life. We become less sensitive towards certain things and we maybe too fast in our action that we miss God's whisper.

I always admire babies and toddlers. They are very sensitive and alert. Their eyes can actually see what we can't see or what we do not bother to see or hear or whatever. Toddlers tend to pick up things and put into their mouths. They can see very tiny dirt on the floor before any adults can see it. Usually when adults see it is when they notice their kids chewing something or when they see them putting their finger into their mouths.

Maybe we should learn from the kids. Heard of kids' instinct? They have this special gift which they can sense how you are feeling especially towards them. If you are afraid of them, they will tend to bully you. If you do not like them, they can also feel it. If you reject them in your heart, they can also feel it. I'm not sure why they can do that. Maybe they are so pure, not like us, being polluted by fear, pride and etc.

Let's have a child's like heart and a child's like faith together!