Lee Chong Wei...

Yay! Finally Malaysia got a medal. Thanks to Lee Chong Wei. Thanks for the effort. As I was watching the match last night, knowing that he wouldn't be able to do defeat his opponent, a question popped up in my mind," Chong Wei, do you feel lonely?" There were so many China supporters and they were cheering for Lin Dan so loudly. I'm really not sure how would he feel. Well, pressure definitely.



I think he also knew that we Malaysians or everybody else had no faith in him to win this game. However he did not give up, he made many mistakes though. He was blanked and he was helpless when Lin Dan smashed him a few times. He was really lost, seeking help from his couch. I'm still very proud of him. At one time he used Lin Dan's technique to score 1 point. I was laughing in front of the TV. I'm still very proud of him.

keep it up!!!

To You

Here I stand forever in

Your mighty hand

Living with Your promise

Written on my heart



I am Yours

Surrendered wholly to You

You set me in Your family

Calling me Your own



Now I

I belong to You

Lord I need

Your Spirit Your word Your truth

Hear my cry my deep desire

To Know You more



In Your name

I will lift my hands

To the King

This anthem of praise I bring

Heaven knows

I long to love You

With all I am

I belong to You

Whatever I have, whatever I am, whatever I have and had done, I still belong to Him. He will forgive me before I can forgive myself for the wrong doings. It's hard to believe that He takes me so seriously. No one on earth can love me like how He does. I belong to Him forever. Nothing can change this fact. Indeed all I need now is His Spirit, His Word and His truth. So that I can stand up again after the fall.

Still

Have mercy upon me, O God,
According to Your lovingkindness;
According to the multitude of Your tender mercies,
Blot out my transgressions.
Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity,
And cleanse me from my sin (Psalm 51:1-2).

The Love of A Little Boy

I was walking around in a Target store,
when I saw a cashier hand this little boy some money back..

The boy couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 years old.
The Cashier said, 'I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll.'

Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him:
''Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?''

The old lady replied:
''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.

'' Then she asked him to stay there for just 5 minutes
while she went to look around.
She left quickly.

The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand.

Finally, I walked toward him
and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to.

'It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for Christmas.
She was sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her.'

I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus
would bring it to her after all,
and not to worry.

But he replied to me sadly.
'No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her where she is now.

I have to give the doll to my mommy
so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there.'

His eyes were so sad while saying this.
'My Sister has gone to be with God.

Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too,
so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.''

My heart nearly stopped.

The little boy looked up at me and said:
'I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet.
I need her to wait until I come back from the mall.'

Then he showed me a very nice photo of him
where he was laughing.

He then told me
'I want mommy to take my picture with her
so she won't forget me.'

'I love my mommy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me,
but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister.'

Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly.

I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy.
'Suppose we check again, just in case you do have enough money for the doll?''

'OK' he said, 'I hope I do have enough.'
I added some of my money to his without him seeing and we started to count it.

There was enough for the doll and even some spare money.

The little boy said: 'Thank you God for giving me enough money!'

Then he looked at me and added,
'I asked last night before I went to sleep for God
to make sure I had enough money to buy this doll,
so that mommy could give it to my sister.
He heard me!''

'I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy,
but I didn't dare to ask God for too much.
But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose.

'' 'My mommy loves white roses.'

A few minutes later,
the old lady returned and I left with my basket.

I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started.
I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind.

Then I remembered a local news paper article two days ago,
which mentioned a drunk man in a truck,
who hit a car occupied by a young woman and a little girl.

The little girl died right away,
and the mother was left in a critical state.
The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-sustaining machine,
because the young woman would not be able
to recover from the coma.

Was this the family of the little boy?

Two days after this encounter with the little boy,
I read in the news paper that the young woman had passed away.

I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses
and I went to the funeral home
where the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see
and make last wishes before her burial.

She was there, in her coffin,
holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy
and the doll placed over her chest..

I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed forever...
The love that the little boy had for his mother and his sister is still,
to this day,
hard to imagine.

And in a fraction of a second,
a drunk driver had taken all this
away from him.

This was a story a friend forwarded to me. I just read and I thought it's touching. A love of a little boy. It's so sincere and pure.

The JOKER

We finally watched The Dark Knight. Hmm...This movie is so serious.


It's frightening at times because of the Joker and his knife. My mind kept imagining how his mouth is being cut until like this. And I hate the way he talk. The way he licks his lips and talks and licks and talks. Ew...


Before I went I really couldn't recall the story. All I could remember was the Joker, batman's costume, his car and that's all.

The role of Joker caused me to think of people with mental health problem which near to the Joker's (Schizophrenia) or some people with depression etc. They are just very good at playing mind games. I'm really amazed. I do not have much knowledge about this sickness etc. But I've met a person like this but she's different from the Joker.

This friend of mine is having depression and she is on medication. I've known her for many years. And I've witnessed how she played with people's mind. Some how I couldn't imagine how this person can have energy or the mind to cause division, to hurt others etc.

And the best thing is she can always find other's weak point easily. She just has that instinct so accurately. This kinda people is not only hurting others, deep inside them, I guess they are the most hurt. Just that they are lost. They couldn't find themselves. They couldn't identify their feelings or maybe their hearts already grow cold. It's an useful survival skill though.

Just like some people, they do not mean to tell lies, but in order to survive, they need to do that. Some times, they do not even realize what they are doing is wrong.

This also make me feel that we should care for each other more. Well, if there's love and proper guidance, the chances to fall into this is less? I'm really not sure.

The Incredible Hulk

Lately I really feel that my emotion is not quite stable. I can be easily affected by little things like the burnt monitor and what had happened yesterday and the week before.

Many times my emotions will be stirred when I was being accused. I get frustrated when I see things being carried out wrongly and unethically, yet I do not know how to handle. Confrontation was made and warning was sent. I stressed myself too much until I burst like a volcano. Yeah, I did not handle my stress well.

I thought of the Incredible Hulk when I was thinking about myself. I cannot be provoked. I may not be able to control myself to certain extent. I need a heartbeat manager also. Like what the Incredible Hulk has. I need it to alarm myself. When the watch starts beeping, I gotta walk away. If not I'll fall into temptation-- to be angry. Sigh... Well, is there any gadgets like that? I'm really not sure.

Every human appears normal when things go smooth. Like Bruce Banner in his movie. Before he transforms into a Hulk. He looks as normal as anybody else. Hmmm...

Some time down the road, human face certain problem which seems above their level of patience, they become like the Hulk. Ugly isn't it?

Yeah, this is about self control. We need to handle our emotions. The heartbeat manager is a tool to help him control himself. What about us? What tools or gadgets do we have to control our emotion? For me, I have God. No matter how many times I failed to love the unlovely, failed to practice patience and failed to be slow to anger, He never fail to keep pushing me to love, to be patient and to have self control. He keeps teaching me, molding me to become better. Despite what had happened and what is gonna happen, He still wants me to love, to forgive and to have self control.

Well, clear enough, God is the "gadget" that will be able to help me do what is right and to control my emotions from doing silly things. I may have done crazy things, He still loves me which nobody else can do. He corrects me when I have negative thoughts. He makes me brave to be responsible of what I've done and to face the situations no matter how hard! He's the best "gadget" that I was looking and I found!

The Super Hero and the Hero

Yesterday was a terrible day for me. During lunch hour I went out to bank and to photostat some worksheets for my students. I was quite tempted to eat KFC nuggets and I thought of Steven boy, so I planned to get him a set of Chicky Meal and a set of nuggets for myself. So after running all the errant and got the KFC, I started my journey to send the Chicky Meal to Steven boy.

When I reached the junction to the left which is opposite Pasar Bina, I saw two indian guys, secondary school boys. One was riding on the motorcycle and the other was cycling. I couldn't remember clearly but one of their legs were on the motorcycle (or the bicycle). *Shrug*
I wanted to turn left and they were heading straight, so I did not bother to honk them or whatever that I may need to do to warn them that it's dangerous to PLAY on the road. I went my way.

Who knows, when I was waiting for my turn to turn, *bang* Guess what? The guy who was riding on the bicycle knocked the back of my car. Of course he fell down and he got up very quickly. I was shocked and I stayed blur awhile. I did not even go down to check my car. They are just students and I was in a hurry. I was like, what the... What kinda stunts were they trying to do! I did not even scold them or stare at them.

So there I went, heading to Kok Ming's house. Once I reached, I quickly grabbed the bags of things and went down. *Ding Dong* His brother came out to open the gate and I went in to pass the things to Steven boy. Aunt kept asking me to take dessert but I was in a hurry. I did not even say hi to Kok Ming, he was back home to rest during lunch hour. Quickly I went out of the house and ready to go. Guess what?

Oh man, I locked my door with my key in the car and with the engine on man! My phone was left inside, the worksheets and my nuggets. Oh man! I was so nervous already and I went to Kok Ming, then called my mum and he sent me back to work. Oh man, my dad came after a few minutes and Kok Ming sent him to rescue my car. Sigh... I lost my appetite. I used to have a spare key in my wallet but I lost it few months ago.

Before 1.30pm, everything was done. Thank God! So work went well and dinner with family went well and the movie went well until I got home. Until I wanted to online. Oh man, my monitor burnt. I tried to rescue it by unplugging and plugging it again and again, but still... It's certified at 0030, 2nd August 2008.

But Kok Ming sent me his this early morning because I was too upset of my day.

At night when I was in bed, the bugs/beetles just would not let me sleep in peace. They were knocking themselves towards the little lamp I had. I was so annoyed until I got up and on the light. Then only less bug bugging the small lamp. Phew... What a day!

But I know for sure that the HERO of the day was Kok Ming and the SUPER hero was and is God. Yeah, I know God will always make our path straight. Just that, we need to have little bit more faith.

E-lephant

These are Wan Keen's elephant. She made them with dough after watching the National Geographic kind of program on the TV. She is really good at it. Except the second one, the others really look quite real to me. She bought this dough from school with RM0.10. Hahaha... Yeah, it's impossible to get it at such cost. So the next day my mum went to school to ask the bookshop keeper. He said he had no choice but to sell to her at that price, because she was crying. Hahaha... That's so wrong.

People pampered her a lot in school. Many people pity her because she is trapped in this kinda problem- her Autism, but doesn't mean that she doesn't know anything about social or anything about life. She is smart enough to use crying to get what she wants. Kids are like that, aren't they? Crying is their weapon.
So mum got her to pay back the shop keeper the right amount of money. Then the next day, mum gave her more money so that she will have enough to buy other things on her own. And kept reminding her not to buy when she has no money. Hopefully she already understood this concept. Hmm...

When the elephants are traveling in the dark... E-lephant... E-lephnat... She always sings that and then laughs non- stop. hahaha...

This drink is from Singapore. The packaging is creative but the drinks inside is not that attractive la. You can check the ingredients to find out what drinks is that. I got it from 7-eleven. There's another one called "Anything?". It's carbonated drinks. i was quite not happy with what I got because I forgot to check. I got the most common one- Chrysanthemum Tea. Disappointed...

When you feel like saying "Whatever", drink whatever.

noroomnospace

ThesoundofdraggingindoorslippersThesoundoffactory
ThesoundofgossipsThesoundofblamesThesoundofpeople
chattingThesoundofcryingchildrenThesoundoflaughing
childrenThesoundofphonesThesoundofflippingfilesThe
soundofslammingdoorsThescreamsThenagsThequestionsMy
heartbeatMybreatheMynameNoisenoiseNoisenoiseNoisenoise
NoisenoiseThereisnoroomforpeacenospaceatallNotatallJust
likethetypingherenospaceatallOhmanI'mhopingforabreakfrom
everythingelse!

The Jar of Alabaster

Today, I was talking about a sinful woman anointed Jesus with a jar of alabaster which was filled with sweet- smelling ointment with the kids. She was a very sinful lady and nobody would welcome her because of what she had done, the mistakes and the sins that she had committed. However, this sinful woman acknowledged her sins and wanted to repent. She turned to Jesus when she got to know that Jesus was dining at Simon's place. Simon was a pharisee and he was a rude man.

In those day, they were to walk on the sand bare footed or with slippers if I'm not mistaken so the custom was whenever you invite guests to your house, you gotta serve them with a tub of water to wash their hands and feet before they enter your house; you gotta give them olive oil too to put on their hands and head and they greet each other with kiss also.

So, Simon was the one who invited Jesus to his house. But he was very rude to his guests. he did not do anything mentioned above at all. So the guests started eating without their hands and feet washed.

Back to the sinful woman, she knew that Jesus came so she grabbed her jar of alabaster, which was filled with sweet- smelling ointment, off she went to Simon's house. She went in and she felt so sorry for what she had done. So she cried and cried and cried. She was seeking help from Jesus. She washed Jesus feet with her tears and wiped them dry with her long hair. Then she kissed Jesus feet gently and poured the sweet- smelling ointment on his feet.

Simon, whom was a very fussy person, of course he was not happy to have this sinful lady in his house or even near it. He was wondering why Jesus, who claimed that He is God, would allow this sinful woman to get near Him, worse still, to kiss his feet. Jesus heard him and Jesus explained to Him by telling him a little story. He said two man owed another man money, one with big sums and the other with small sums. Both of them couldn't afford to pay their debts, but the man had forgiven them both. He asked him which of these two would love the other man most?

Simon replied," I suppose the one who was forgiven most."

Then Jesus said," Do you see this woman? She is far more kind and loving than you have been. When I came into your house, you didn't give Me any water to wash My feet, but she washed them with her tears. You didn't give me a kiss of welcome, but she has even been kissing My feet. You didn't pour cheap and ordinary oil on My head, as i s usually done, but she poured costly ointment on My feet. So her many sins are forgiven because she has loved me so much."

This is roughly the story.

I really wondered how much tears she had shed to have Jesus' feet washed. I really wonder. She needed to be real humble to kiss Jesus' feet. How many of us can do that, do not talk about kiss, we may not even be able to wash each other feet. And I felt that some times we can be like Simon. He disliked Jesus so he treated him with less courteous. We may treat people whom we dislike bad too. We can hurt them with words, with our action and with out attitude towards that relationship. We often reject or avoid people like ex- drug addicts or ex- prostitute, people with AIDS and people with disabilities. Some of us may even reject our own family members because of who they are, their lowly paid jobs and their background.

If we can start appreciating people and things around us regardless of their background, their condition, we will surely find that this world is full of love. When we start accepting each other, we are making a difference to that particular person's life. When we start giving thanks to God for what He has provided for us, we will always feel contented and would not yield to temptation easily. We know who we are and we'll clearly see the purpose of our life on earth. Because those earthly things will no longer blind our eyes.

How Can I?

After the first post of the day, I viewed my blog, there and then only I saw today's date! GUESS WHAT? It's WAN KEEN's BIRTHDAY! Oh man, I nearly forgot. I'm gonna bring her out to buy a birthday cake later and celebrate with her as my 2 sisters are back. Yeah! They are just in time!


When I got to know it's her birthday, I was really amazed by God's grace! It's His grace that had brought her thus far. He helped her through her life's journey. All the protection, all the provision and all the love that people are showering upon her! Till here, tears are rolling down my cheeks. God is really faithful, whatever He gives, He'll take care. He gave us Wan Keen and He has not been pausing the blessing. He's such a good God and He does what He promises.


Wan Keen went through a lot. She went through rejections from the people around her, her peers and even her teachers. I understand that it's not easy to accept her. She couldn't help when she couldn't find a way to communicate, she suffered from a lot of stress when people around her couldn't understand her. She did not understand anything about danger and she nearly knocked down by car few times. She was lost because she did not know what to expect. Thanks to those people to discover this Visual Strategy that she started to know how to bathe with visual guidance. She understood her routines with visual guidance, she had less stress, as she knew what to expect.


She has talent in music and drawings, God enabled her to get the prize and this brought us joy too. She loves piano, she loves drums, guitars and she can make a tissue box guitar and make music from there too, just with rubber bands. We were so amazed. She is such a talented gal.


This brought me to sing this song again: I'll sing to You Lord, a hymn of love, for Your faithfulness to me, I'm carried in everlasting arms, You'll NEVER let me go! Halleluyah...

Weekdays Christian

I often heard people talking about Sunday Christians, which means, Christians will go to church, trying to be holy on that day, read the bible on that day, sing praises to God on that day, pray on that day and fellowship with each other on that day. Did I get the concept right?


Well, as for me, I think, I'm a weekdays Christians, I pray to God everyday, from Monday to Friday, I do my quiet time from Mondays to Fridays, almost without fail. When comes to weekends, well, I can't deny that I've activities in church still, but I often neglected my quiet time on these 2 days. It's so hard for me to get into it. During weekedns I can hardly focus except when I'm worshipping in church.


I'm following a series of bible study called 2:7 Series. I am required to do my journal for my Bible Reading Highlight Record for 14 consecutive days. Until now I still have not done. The reason is I only do my quiet time on weekdays, on and off I'll do it on weekends. Sigh... Some times this BRHR thing really make feel that I'm a failure. hahaha... Discipline problem I know. That's what Kok Ming always says about me.

Solution?

Almost one week later. This is what happened. His mum bought a helmet for him as a protection. If you do not know what kinda helmet is this, let me tell you. It's a Taekwando helmet. I'm not sure if it's called helmet though :) It's very soft, but I'm not sure if it's suitable for him.

So sad to see him like that. I'm gonna meet up with his mother on Monday! I wanna question her as well as check with her about his condition, wanna check his medication and the frequency of his fits. I hope after the meeting his mum, they'll start charting the frequency of his fits. So that we will be able to see the pattern.

Pray for protection over him. My heart still ache when I see him.

Through It All

Through It All

You are forever in my life
You see me through the seasons
Cover me with Your hand
And lead me in Your righteousness

And I look to You
And I wait on You
I will sing to You, LordA hymn of love
For Your faithfulness to me
I'm carried in everlasting arms
You'll never let me go
Through it allHallelujah,
hallelujah

I'm stuck with this song lately. I think I've been singing this song for almost two to three weeks already. I trust that God will help me through all things. I really trust that God will never let me go. I hope my loved ones will be able to know this truth too. God is always with us. He has been helping us without making it known to us. Well, I mean, He protects us everyday even if we do not ask him to, He provides for us everday, every hour, every minute and every second, breath to take and energy to use.

We are so awful because we are using things that He provides for us and we thought it comes naturally. We get those things without even contributing anything in the first place. It wasn't us who created the air, the earth, the sky and the energy that we are using and experiencing now, they are all from God.

Then we turn everything original to spicy until we can't take it. Look at the pollution nowadays, look at the weather nowadays. It's kinda sad to see that and to know that we humans are so D*** We thought we are God really. And now people come up with recycle stuff etc to help protect the earth. This is what God calls, we are sinners. But God gives us second chance, He want us to turn to Him and we will be cleansed. And when we get closer to Him, we will try to sin less. This is the ultimate solution.

Hate Hemoroid Hate

Ahaha...It's my fourth post of the day. hehe... Too long did not post anything here. I was just so lazy to get online. Haiz...

I was so stressful last week, I think it was last week. i wasn't in good shape and I was having a lot of health problem. I... I... I...even had Hemoroid. Man, I was kinda freaked out by this thing. If you know about Hemoroid. It usually happens when you open bowel right? But for me, it not only happened when I opened my bowel. It happened when I urinate also. Man, I thought it was my menses but it was not!

Yeah, I did not handle my stress well. But now it was gone already. No more bloody thing! Hmmm... Thanks for those who prayed for me! So glad that it's gone now! I don't wanna see this happen again! Oh please! Not again!

Pen vs. Pencil

When did I start using pen? I remember I started using pen when I was in standard 4. It was a compulsory thing. So every homework or anything that we write, we were not allowed to use pencil. I mean when we did it in the exercise books. Of course when we copied notes into our personal notebook, it wasn't a problem.

I remember very well what my teacher commented on somebody or it maybe me. I'm not very sure. Yeah, I think it was me. I wasn't confident enough to use pen to write the answer most of the time I think. So I'll use pencil to write it down first. So the teacher said," When you are doing this, it reflects your level of confidence."

This comment came back to me when one of my colleagues was telling me what had happened to her yesterday. yesterday was a hectic day for her. She got a few reports to write but she did not have enough time. So she thought of bringing the files back to complete them. But she was not bringing it home to write the reports. She thought she would complete them in her car while waiting for her son to finish tuition. Some how, she forgot to bring a pencil along and her son had got only one mechanical pencil. So she couldn't do it. She brought the files back today. She was quite frustrated with her son because he has only one pencil in his pencil case. She was thinking what if that machanical pencil is broken or missing, how is he gonna do his work in school or tuition center.

You may wonder why not she use pen? Haha... Actually, she is the only one who uses pencil in our center because she has no confidence to write with a pen. I heard her story before I went to toilet. When I was in the toilet, this thought came to me. Look at the characteristic of a pen and a pencil, it reflects the intensity of confidence also. The mark than a pen makes is more solid. And the mark of a pencil is weak. No matter how dark the pencil lead is, sooner or later it will look weaker than the mark of a pen.

It's just a random thought.

*SOB*

This is a child with Epilepsy. He was diagnosed to have fits last year when I noticed his eye balls jumping up and down non stop and when we called him, he did not give any response. But he looked conscious. Last year after seeing him fits like that, we suggested the mother to bring him to the doctor. And true enough, he had it. Sad!

He was still fine until his fits got serious. Whenever he fits, he will tend to fall forward. When he fits, he cannot control his body, so he will always knock his head on the table no matter where he is. It can happen when he is walking, sitting or eating. Not long ago, he already knocked his front tooth off.

Last thursday, it was my turn to teach him, without any notice, he knocked his head on the table. I was shocked by him. Well, that wasn't serious and i started to worry about him. Yesterday, he came in the morning, every morning we will open our day with a prayer together, so I prayed for him and hoping that the Lord will protect him. When he arrived, what we saw was what the photo is showing. My tears nearly flowed down. My heart was like bleeding. When I was teaching him, I really couldn't imagine how he suffered. My heart really ache.

Sigh!!! WHY??! But thank God for keeping him save.