Clarification

Somebody said that I am disorganized again. Pastor Edmund's part or my part, yeah well, he triggered me to flash back my childhood and my focus is how a childhood can affect the rest of a person's life.

And secondly I'm not self pitying here. I am really not trying to pity myself. If I ever want to I'd already shared with people around me. And i guess, many people do not know all this. I wanted to write just for the sake of writing. In fact, I do not really feel comfortable with some people who are reading my blog.

My objective for this blog after I put the link on the tag of MSN was to test myself. I wanna test myself how personal can I share here. At first only 1 or 2 persons were reading this and then soon I found out many more. I was liKe..Sigh...felt very burden to write also. From all my posts I guess this is the most personal one. I do not hope for pity. And I did not expect anything from anybody. AND I do not have any intention of writing this. Please people, do not think like that. This is going to be discouraging.

I am also trying to reach out to others. Sharing a bit of Him here whenever I can. It's about my life, my life with Christ.

And I am not passive over my past anymore. I want to change and I am very sure that God will use what I had experienced to help others. Just that I'm still on my way to be better. I am not self pitying. I just want to agree with Edmund Smith that God can move mountains. Edmund Smith is now married with 2 kids. Frankly, before I know this man, I would think that there' no cure for Homosexuality. I even forgot that God can if they allow God to intervene. And now God is using him to counsel other gays or ex-gays. How amazing? How marvelous? It's God's grace indeed that we can come out of our shells. It's God's grace that we are still standing, though we were suicidal. Frankly, we are living by the grace of God. I use "we" because, dwelling in the past is a sin as well, and I am trying to come out of it and by the grace of God, I did it. Well, not totally yet. Still on the way. I'm ex- past ( Just crapping).

The funniest thing is, those who read already, told me that that post made them appreciate their childhood which they thought it was bad. Thanks guys for sharing your thoughts with me after reading it! Continue your faith in God. Do not give up trusting God. I'm sad to see that! I didn't give up and God protected me even when He was still a stranger to me. If not I would have entered mental illness center or maybe I maybe in great depression that I can't come out of it. Press on! I will too!