I'm in a mess because I've not forgiven some body. I really need to forgive this person who annoys me so much who hurt me so much who refuses to give me chance to talk who always protects self who always gives excuses when makes mistakes who tries to manipulate people who puts people into difficult situation who is inconsiderate who blames everyone else besides self and ...
Sigh... I felt sorry to find so many faults in this person. I am not as good too. I will not forget what this person had done as what had happened alarmed me to be careful. I can't put my trust yet I can't live my life like that, i think. I do not know what to do with this person and I do not wanna hear anything from this person and I just do not know when is it real and when is it not. I'm in such a difficult position. I'm really cold and I know this person feels my coldness. It is no point to clear whatever that had happened because this person will not admit, all I can get will be excuses that tries to hide the truth. What is the truth? Frankly, nobody knows. I guess this person doesn't know the truth either because there were too many lies that may have confused him/herself too.
Sigh... I tried to be nice. However, my effort slipped when I received excuses and when I wasn't given a chance to talk. It became a mess when I tried to find a way out. I wanted to teach, I wanted to help but to this person all those were pointing out mistakes. Even if those were mistakes, learn la. The sky won't fall when mistakes happen. The more defense, the more I feel tedious.
Some body told me that some times some people are put into our life for a reason, reason that we do not know. I was thinking, yeah, I really do not know the reason, I can only depend on God's wisdom. Maybe this person is here to show how ugly my character is; to show how much more i need to learn to forgive and to be patient. Sigh... PRESS ON!!!
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