I was looking back at some of the photos that we took in Indonesia. Tears swelled in my eyes. I was touched and I think I really miss the trip. Yeah, again, I'm amazed that I was on the stage in front of 450 youths and kids and I am still amazed that I gave my testimony to the high school students, about 50 of them. I owed and I'm still owing Wan Li my testimony since last year. Haha... and I did it in Indonesia. I acted in church once which was 6-7 years ago but I played a part in a mime and presented in Indonesia. This is impossible without God's help. I do not think I'll do all these in my church before the trip.
Well, this is not the end I bet. I felt that the trip was just a beginning. A beginning for more great things to happen in Elim as well as to those who went. For example, last week, I was asked to share on what I'd learned or what impacted me most from the trip. I prepared it 2 hours before the meeting due to I did not know what else to share and I did not want the people to hear the same thing over and over again. Well, I was a bit nervous but this feeling is getting lesser and lesser. This is indeed a good thing.
I found out that I was and am still afraid to commit myself to the work of God. I broke down because of the fear during the Korean outreach. There was an altar call, Pastor Daniel Kim asked the congregation to come out to the altar if any of us decided to want to serve the church more. I wanted to get out. But the fear was holding me so tightly. I was like glued to the chair. I broke down. I kept saying sorry to the Lord. Sigh... At that moment I felt that I'm so useless and helpless.
Since the day I found out my fear of committing, I prayed to God to show me the way, to show me where to start. After a week, my prayer was answered. I hope I did not get it wrong. I was asked to take up the story telling during Open Sunday School this Easter Sunday. Yeah, I have to relate it to the eggs. I did not know what is it gotta do with egg. I asked my ex-colleague as she did it before. However, she had already forgotten the relation of Easter and egg. So I thought that I do not want to do that part. I did not approach anyone else for this matter. On Wednesday, my boss did the sharing during our devotion time. She mentioned about the relation, I was like..." Ok, God, do you really want to me to relate Your resurrection to the egg?" I'm still thinking if I should. Hmm... Was it just a coincidence or God's prompting? *shrug*
All the best to me and Mun Yan! Pray for us. I'm falling sick soon. Pray for voice and clear speech if you read this :) Thanks ya!
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