having some illness which i do not know what's wrong with me. Sigh....All i know is pain. Maybe it is because of stress. Hmmm... Going through this "Tomorrow's Story, Gateway to Outstanding Leadership" training by a church member. Em... It's stressful but i know i must go through it. Many times it reminded me that my fear is greater than God.
I believe i am not the "real" wanwai right now or what i'm showing to my friends. i'm closed up. I seldom reveal myself. My real self. That's why people has been complaining, especially one very special friend of mine. This friend had been complaining i'm not real, i'm very fake. i am not what i am when i send sms. sigh...
Inside me i have a lot of things which i want to do. A lot of things which i dare not do. I'm holding back a lot. I've a lot of interferences. Very difficult to overcome. Through these sessions, i went through a lot pains. Can you imagine, i'm a person of no self- worth, no self- confidence and no self- esteem. I can't imagine how i had survived and i'm still surviving.
My mentor helped me discovered my Strengths. She asked me to rate them. Em.. there were two strengths which i cannot accept. I really felt that i'm stupid, what's my problem? I should be happy about it. What's the worse thing that can happen if i just accept these 2 strengths? When she asked me this question, i can't find any answer. Stupid right?
There will be more sessions to come. I want to go through it because i want to change.
