McD or KFC???

There are four socialization agents that will influence the process of forming an individual's personalities.

i) Family Influence

ii) School Role

iii) Peers

iv) Mass Media

Under Peers, there are 4 sub- cultures, they are:

i) Entertainment subculture-

This group of people emphasize more on outlook, outing and sports

ii) Academic subculture-

This group of people emphasize more on academic skills. They usually go for academic- oriented activities.

iii) Delinquents-

This is the most rebellious group. They play truancy and often go against the rules in school.

iv) Group that is not aligned to anybody-

This group of people tend to isolate themselves and do not care about what is happening.

Which group do you fall into?

As for me, I think I am the last one. I tend to isolate myself for some reasons and I don't really care about things that are not related to me directly. I do care when I care. Hmm... This became more appealing to me as I reflected on the friends that I have. I am like closed to one person of each group and most of my friends don't really know each other. The closed friends that I have is too random. Some times it is very hard to go out in a group because they don't know each other. Thus, I usually don't go out in a group except for the group of friends that know each other.

Lately, I discovered myself having some psychological problem. I don't know how it happens and did it really started. Hmm... I hate the disorder.

Few weeks ago, I came home as usual and wanted to take my dinner as usual, alone, as my parents were out. The dishes were ready on the table covered by the small dish covers. As I was eating, I found the eggs of the fly. I think it's because of the hole of that dish cover is not small enough. I stopped eating as I felt like puking. I told my mum about it and since then they don't cover the dishes with those covers. Instead, they kept it them in the microwave and cupboards.

The stories should end there but it didn't. I kept reflecting upon that incident and it made me stop taking my dinner for a few days or weeks. Whenever I take dinner, the incident would just pop up in my mind that chased away my appetite. I just couldn't enjoy my dinner.

Another thing is, since the day I reached Penang, I had motion sickness. I think it's because of the smell of the car and the unsteady driving skills. Though I was sitting at the co- driver seat, I still got it. That feeling sucks. Until now, I'm still feeling it when I'm in the car especially when I'm not the driver. Worse is, the feeling came when I thought about ship and the winding road. Sigh... I'm wondering why is it so hard to overcome these feelings even after a few days or even weeks.

Can it be due to stress? Or it's my problem? Why is the motion sickness so serious after this trip? Suffering. T.T How should I overcome it?

Finally, it's time to take a break. It's now 3.12 in the morning. I was trying to study as much as I can. Hmm...

I was chatting with a friend before I started doing my revision. This friend asked if I believe in coincidence or the One in Heaven pre- plans everything. I told him,"No, I don't believe in coincidence." He gave me a scenario like this. "If one day your car break down by the roadside and your friend passes by and stops to lend you a hand. Isn't that a coincidence?"

Still I said it's not a coincidence because at the end of the day I will surely thank God for providing me help. I may have prayed when I'm in such situation or if my friend is a Christian, he/ she may have prayed and asked God to use them in any way. Thus, it's very hard to judge whether it's a coincidence as we do not know the unknown.

Lately I am really stressed out by my studies. Exam is around the corner and I am not well prepared yet. On Wednesday, it was my turn to share something during our weekly devotion time. I struggled so much to pick a topic to share. I had nothing in mind even after I prayed. Until the very last minute, I simply picked one and shared. It wasn't fluent as I did not prepare. I just read from the book. However, my sharing was in lined with what one of my colleagues faced for the past few weeks. Was it a coincidence? I bet it wasn't because there was a real life experience to match with what God wanted to teach us. It wasn't a coincidence as I did pray for a topic. Though I picked it randomly.

Another example that I gave was blog. The authors of blogs will not know if their posts about their lives, interest and problem will impact anyone. Some of them write because of interest and the posts maybe updates for friends and family. However, when someone somewhere starts surfing for something and so happen this person from the other side of the world comes across the blog and it then leaves an impact on that someone or motivated that someone from the other side of the world. How do you explain this? This friend of mine experienced it himself. I bet everything happens for a reason. A reason that no one knows until the puzzle of life is done.

In my life, there is no such thing as coincidence because my everyday is a gift from God. There is this quote says "Today is a gift that's why it is called "PRESENT". The fact that I am able to wake up in the morning is already a miracle, a chance to live my life again, a chance to repent and a chance to contribute. Well, no doubt, it's another chance to make mistake too. Choose your day.

Here I am one again, escaping from studies to crap here. I couldn't find the answer for one of the questions. THUS...

I have things to crap, my mind is very active especially when I am under stress. It's too active until I troubled troubles then went blur. LOL!

Hmm... I got to know that one of the special adults at my work place kept calling another colleague. They are of different gender. So, something is happening in one of them. This is not the first time that my this special colleague calls up somebody that this colleague shows affections to. I got to know about it from a few of my friends who got the same sort of call from the same person.

Oh well, we are adults. As we grow we will sure fall for some one. When we fall for some one, of course we would like to always get to see that person and also wanna hear that person's voice. This is really SO normal. However, people with special needs are not encourage to have the other half most of the time. *pity them*

This colleague can call that person a few times in a day. The family don't know about this yet. And my boss also don't know about it. Maybe she knows. *shrug* Previously, some of my friends purposely cancelled the call as they did not know what to do. I think this will frighten people who don't understand and may cause them to stay away from adults with learning disabilities.

I talked to this special colleague today. I wanted to stop this colleague to keep calling and misunderstand that they are couple. Hmm... After our talk, and this special one promised not to call again. After this special one left my desk, a thought came to my mind,"this is normal for every grown ups. Even homo- sexual shows affections to their kind. Why not these adults with special needs? It's so hard to control affections. Missing somebody is not something fun. It's painful some times. Am I cruel and am I doing what is right?"

I started feeling sorry for them as they don't have a choice to love but to stop loving. I can comprehend the pain. I really wonder how is this special one gonna pass tonight. Tonight will be a long night I guess. Or may be not, as they are so used to be conditioned. Maybe this special one will be able to handle better than most of us the so called NORMAL ones? Hmm...

Lately, I'm really addicted to listening to this song called GRACE by Laura Story. I love her voice and the lyrics of the song are the voice of my heart. Most of it.

Arghhh!!! I'm missing them like crazy. I miss the time we spent together. The fun, sadness, tantrums and excitement we shared during our practices and during our lessons. This year's preparation and people meant so much to me. I couldn't think of the reasons. But I just felt that this year's closing was so different compared to previous years.

Hmm... These group of kids really pleased me well. Most of them are very helpful in nature. This year we did something different besides learning about the stories in the bible. We learnt about contentment, taking care and helping the special ones, focus on good things and appreciate the people and things around us.

The best thing is not because of we did something different but it's when I saw some of them applying what they had learned into their lives. I'm most blessed to see them doing so. Yes! This is the ultimate objective of teaching them such values. During our lessons, we may have some video- showings at the end of the class. Some videos really touched the soft part of their hearts that their tears swelled in their little eyes. I really thank God for putting things into place for this little ones to learn to be helpful, to be sensitive to others' needs and to be able to accept the special ones in class as well as always ready to help and guide them.

The most touching moment is when they start talking to me about their lives in schools, about their teachers and some gossips. LOL! They made me feel that I'm accepted. This is the most wonderful thing for me.

This year, I started the practice late as I was bogged down by a lot of other things like work and studies. I had three assignments and I was expected to complete them in a month. YES! All three of them. I was quite stressful and my mind was not able to function until the very last minute that I forced myself to quiet down and start thinking about it. Thanks to Mun Yan who gave me an idea. Thus, we started preparing the costumes and all for the kids after the flow of the presentation was done. We started the preparation late too. I was so reluctant to stay back after church and to go back to church on week days to do all the drawings, cuttings and pasting as I have to finish my assignments. To complete one masks took us each an hour.

Thank God that I managed to complete the assignments in time and also the preparations in time. We were blessed with another friend to help us on the last day of the preparation too. See, when God started the idea, He will make all things right. We just need to put in the effort that we should and leave the rest to Him. Guess what? I got all distinctions for my three assignments. This was really a surprised and a great blessing to help me move on. Hmm... I can't help but to say that God will never forsake us when we seek Him first. He will make our path straight as long as we trust and walk with Him.

Maybe this is the reason why this year's Sunday School closing meant so much to me. I experienced the goodness and faithfulness of God.

We reached JB bus station at around 4.30pm. We met my friend there and then we took a cab to the hotel that I had booked earlier. We checked in and sat in the room for a while discussing what to do during that few hours. My sister decided to go Singapore. So off we went. I was reluctant as the sickness made me feel really unwell and I was kind of afraid to travel by bus again.

Before we crossed the river, my friend wanted to bring us to the nice Curry Fish Head for dinner but it was closed. *Sad* I thought that would be something that could help me reduce the feeling of that sickness. We have no choice but to have our dinner at one of the shops in City Square. Hmm... We had something that was kind of similar to Kenny Roger's but it was not really good plus I did not have appetite.

We thought of going to the night safari but we did not make it as the time was so late when we reached Singapore. So, my friend brought us to a few places which are so happening at night. Those places were Marina Bay and Clark Quay. Haha... We were all so full that we did not eat anything nor drink anything there. In addition, the things there are so expensive. Anyway, we enjoyed walking there.

After that, we went back to JB. We stayed a night there. Since the minute I reached there, my friend had not stopped asking me the reason I went there. Hmm... I found it so hard to have to explain to him. Even after I explained to him, he just couldn't comprehend. He kept asking me to call her but I just did not feel like doing so. I told him that I will call her tomorrow.

The next morning I heard somebody was singing worship songs upstairs. We were having our breakfast near the lobby. True enough, that hotel owner is Christian. Haha... I felt so touched to hear those songs. Right then, I received an SMS from my sister. She SMSed me just to ask me to help her to get something from a friend in Ipoh. I called her telling her that I have something to passed to her. She and her boyfriend came to the hotel that we stayed. They were heading to somewhere else. So we did not have serious talk though. We managed to pass her a Chinese bible and the letter that I wrote to her.

They left for their activities and we left to Singapore again. I hope so much to visit the aquarium but the timing was really bad and there were so many people every where. At the end we were bought to the biggest and newest shopping complex- ION. The building is really impressive. I liked one of the shops there called National Geographic. It's so impressive. Then we went to Orchard and Vivocity. Hmm... We walked so much! The next time I go, I know my way already. Thanks to my friend who brought us from one place to another. We had almost visited all the places at red zone. Hmm...

Mission accomplished, at least i got to meet my sister for a short while and managed to convey the message to her and passed her a bible. Yeah!!! And through this trip, I got to know that I have a good friend. He was so patient with us. And also want to thanks those who prayed for me/us before and after I left. Indeed, it wasn't a bad trip at all.

This was posted by a friend of mine a couple of days ago. I did not watch it until today as I was really lost and confused. Lately I really find that online and reaaranging my farm at Farm Town helped me escape or be away from the things that are troubling me at least for a few hours. Hmm...

My sister who is working in Singapore but staying in JB has not been well for at least 2 months. We kept in touch especially lately as she was having some real heart breaking problems. Our talk has been well until she felt so hopeless one day and since that day she refused to answer my call and not replying my SMSes too. I was so worried and I am still worrying. Sigh...

I have been seeking advices and opinions from family and friends. And finally I decided to go. However, everytime I came home, my mum would say something to discourage me. She has her point but still I did not have peace. Same thing happened today, I had decided but was turned down by mum. Once again, I seek opinions and advices and I kept asking people to pray for me. I am too anxious till I couldn't focus in prayer. I can only quiet down when I lied on the bed.

**Kian Aun, this maybe what I had pronounced it to happen during that care group sharing. My relationship with God is running low. I am medium low now.

Umm... Today will be the last time for me to be shaken. Both Wan Sian and I have decided and agreed to make a trip there no matter what. Unless there's no bus tickets available anymore. KTM confirmed no more tickets (sobs). I have decided to go and I'm standing firm on my decision this time after watching this short video on Alzimier. Well, my sister doesn't have that but I do not want to regret when something happen to her over there because of lack of support. We are going to show our love to her by our actions. Hmm... Please... I am pleading for prayer. Pray that she will meet me as now she refused to give us her address. And she is giving a lot of excuses for not meeting up. I have a week time. I hope that our earnest prayer will change her heart. Also pray that she can see why we are doing this. Even if this time I do not have a chance to have serious talk with her, I hope that she knows that we are there for her.

Thanks Nick for the video. I wept straight away. So sad. This video reminded me of how we have been taking things and people for granted. It urged me to forgive people and treasure things an people around me. I love all of you SO much. I'm blessed to have you guys. Everyone of you who cross my path.

But now I won't be like before. I will never ever go back to be like that again.

The tonnes of lies and stories that she made up out of no where and the problems that she had created since the day she came to work with us really freak me out and lately something happened again. Though I'm not involved. I'm reminded, especially today, that I should not get too close with her or trust her fully.

I need wisdom to judge what's right and wrong. I need wisdom so that I will not fall into her trap. I really need to be careful. I don't want to get myself hurt. I also bear in mind that as long as I'm doing what is right, she will not have a chance to trap me. Even if she does, the truth will be revealed one day and God will be fair to the innocent.

Well, I should thank her also. The challenges that she placed in my life changed me. The circumstances transformed me to be a stronger and more steady person. This helped me realised that trials will make us smarter and stronger and I truly believe that all things are possible. And the righteous will never ever be defeated by the evil.

Well, there is still minor fear in me. Everything will be fine I bet!!! Hmm...

Last Sunday, I started this Happy Diary with the kids. I'm not sure what really make them happy. They maybe writing because I asked them to write. I asked them to think of three things that make them happy this whole week. I guess three things is not too much for a week though. Anyway, this is one that I find it very true from the kid. He is not standard 5. I bet he knows what he is writing. Haha... And he was being funny too. The 3rd thing that made him happy he wrote "Happy because never got H3N2." He was really trying to be funny. This diary is the most creative one. He drew a few trees there with the letter Y. He's my ex- student's brother. Hehe... My partner and I had listed him in the most creative category.

The objective of writing this happy diary is to promote positive thinking. This is a good reminder and practice for myself too. It helps me to be able to concentrate on happy and motivating things rather than those that cause me a lot of headaches. I hope that all of us will make this a habit so that we can live a healthier life emotionally and then physically.

This was one of the boys whom I had taught for 4 years in the Sunday class. How did it happen? I am not sure. Usually we will only teach each group for the most 2 years. Since they were standard 2 I was already their teacher. This group of boys were the most challenging ones for me as I was quite new, lazy and not resourceful during that time. Can you imagine they are now 13 years old. Hmm... I miss those days!

This boys is especially special because he acted like adult when he was standard 3. Every time he entered the classroom, he will sure give me a hand shake and then said "long time no see." I was quite afraid of him during that time because he is too friendly and warmth. He even felt unhappy when I had a hair cut those days.

A few of my friends and I brought them to Kledang Hill one day. We walked together and whenever we took pictures, he will sure stand either next to me or behind me. I was like trying to avoid him. I just did not feel comfortable about it. I told my partner about it and asked her to observed and she agreed with me. Maybe that was his way of showing preference.

They left me at 11 years old. They were promoted to another class. I miss them SO much. I was too used to their noises and their mischievousness. I loved them and I'm still loving them. I really hope that they will remember me.

Since I'd asked people to pray for me regarding my colleague and I, I should update those who have been praying for me here. I appreciate the prayers that you guys have uttered. I managed to resolve the anger and dissatisfaction in me, completely I would say. I can now talk to her more than work issues and I can now smile to her and the patience that I long lost is back. I'm not reluctant to go work anymore and I am not hoping to get sick now. Things have been quite smooth for these few weeks.

I am thankful for where I am now. The place that I am working is like another mother to me. A place that taught and is still teaching me a lot of things about life and to accept the unlovely. The daily challenges that I face make me a calmer person when comes to handling problems. This is a place that helped me talk confidently in front of others. I was made more analytical and I learn not to jump into conclusion too fast.

When I think back, I am not regret of my decision of working there. The satisfaction that I get from this job is indescribable. It is more than just a job.

Besides, my studies is going well at the moment as I did not really have much to handle this semester. Next semester I bet I will have more to handle and more to study. I enjoy studying though I may feel stressful when I have to meet datelines. Indeed, work and study is not an easy thing to do. I hope my studies will not affect my performance at work and I do not want it to become something that hinder me from serving Sunday School and other related ministries as well.

Once again, thanks for your prayers and support in many ways. I am good now :) I'm looking forward to the Kidzgames training which is coming soon. I hope it won't clash with my tutorials.

I Love You!