Thursday wasn't a good day. I bet I was warned by God through my dream but I did not know what is it all about until everything fell into place. I always have this problem about my dream. Hmm... Maybe it's a gift or maybe it is not. Many people would say that I think too much and not many, or I would say there are only one or two who believe that what I dream will turn out, and it's always something not good, but will be made good.
I dreamed of one of my students. He is not able to speak due to his hearing impairment. I do not think that he will even speak unless there is a miracle. However, in my dream he was able to speak. I was so happy in my dream and I even asked the parents to continue to motivate him and I rejoiced with them.
This dream was not any dream that will wake me up suddenly as it's not scary thus I was not quite disturbed by it. I nearly forgotten what I had dreamed about until when I was doing my devotion that morning, my mind reminded me of that dream. I was a bit confused as I did not know if it was real or it was just a dream. After pondering for a while then I told myself for sure, it's a dream. I carried on with my reading.
That child came with the father during the session later in the morning. Nothing happened. However, what my colleague told the father disturbed me as she was giving wrong informations. On top of that she did not know the purposes of what we have been doing. I was still cool until she asked us for one of the teaching aids which has been there on the shelves for 7 years. Then I started shooting her. I wasn't angry, I just wanted to tease her but somehow her excuse for not knowing that it was there and have never ever used it (which she had used it before), frustrated me. My teases became scolding.
My tone of voice was bad. I felt bad after that too. For the rest of the day, we did not talk because she seemed angry with me. So I have decided to apologize for my tone of voice but not what I have said. I kept telling myself that even if I am the head of the place, I need to humble myself and admit what I have done wrong. I don't want to run away from it and I do not want to tarnish God's name! So I was struggling. Struggled because I was so afraid that the situation will become even worse. I was feeling so uneasy. However, I have peace. I text another colleague telling her what I had planned to do and asked her to be there earlier so that she will be there to control the situation or give input for our conversation. Of course, I asked her to pray for us.
*Phew* Finally, it was Friday. I apologized before our open prayer and explained to her why I got frustrated and taught her how to answer questions to avoid confusion in the parents. The whole thing went well and I really thank God for that. Thanks for those who prayed for me/us! Thank you so much! A video to share with you. One part of the lyrics say," Whatever You (God) doing inside of me, it feels like chaos somehow there's peace and it's hard to surrender what I can't see but I'm giving into something heavenly!"
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