I'm here just to let everyone know that I am fine now. Hahaha...though that issue is not settled totally, I'm fine. I did not cry though. I'm really fine! Jesus had conquered the world so there's nothing for me to continue to be sad about. Life goes on.
Yesterday was a great day. I finally completed the power point presentation on Friday night and yesterday was there. I had great peace as I was presenting it. Thanks to all the youth who were attentive and your response made me feel comfortable. Thanks to those who had been praying for me. Thanks for all the encouragement and positive feedbacks as well. Daph, thanks for trying to include me just now. I did not mean to reject the invitation though. Haha... I can't just leave my friend alone :)
I was a bit regret to share my personal experiences. Hmmm... I was not looking for people's pity. I thank God for all the experiences. A friend shared a bible verse with me yesterday, I forgot which book but it says something like "All these stories were written to help us to be mindful of the future." So my history helped me learn so much and without those I would not be able to be who I am now. I won't be able to stand in front of people that day also.
My past was hurtful, what I did was foolish. I hurt some people because of my past etc. But I told myself and especially after accepted Christ. There were and still are a lot of changes. Breaking through it was painful and it's still painful. Well, I'm not afraid. Especially this year, I take this year as a learning year. I wanna learn as much as possible especially things about God.
God is faithful, He will help me through I know. The joyous thing is my MUM accepted Christ today! Yeah!!! Pray that she'll grow in His word and start letting go those Buddhist thing. Also pray that my dad will be able to accept this news and hoping that one day he will come to the Lord!
13 April 2008
06 April 2008
The worse thing that is happening now is, there is no word for me to express my feelings. I often heard people cannot cry no matter how bad the situation is. Now I finally understand that kinda feelings. Something happened to me and I just do not really know how to tell about them. I need somebody to listen, to at least understand my feelings instead of pushing me to do things that are so hard for me. I just need listening ears, I'll have if I approach, I know. I expect them to teach me what to do instead of knowing what my heart says.
2 things that are hindering me to approach people. 1st, I don't want advice. I just want understanding. 2ndly, I don't have words. It's just hard to express myself. It's hard to find the right words. Sigh...surely God knows how i feel. Still even when I'm facing God, I don't know how to express. I just need to express it.
IN short, I just don't have words!
2 things that are hindering me to approach people. 1st, I don't want advice. I just want understanding. 2ndly, I don't have words. It's just hard to express myself. It's hard to find the right words. Sigh...surely God knows how i feel. Still even when I'm facing God, I don't know how to express. I just need to express it.
IN short, I just don't have words!
30 March 2008
Glad to Know that they are Well
Remember that day a mother poured out to me about her family problems? She came back to me again to let me know that she and her husband are well already! I'm so glad that they are together again. I even bumped into them in Tesco. So glad that a family was united again.
Hmm..the quiet understanding and support from the husband is really important. Through this, I suddenly felt that having kids can be a test to the relationship of a couple. Many arguments arise when they have children, what more a special child.
Life seems hopeless when they have a special kid. All they would do is to seek for help everywhere, anytime. They are very sensitive to what they hear. They get hurt by people around them. Those people could be strangers, their relatives, in- laws, even teachers and husband/ wife. It's indeed stressful.
Many times, I see lost moms in the center especially when their kids are cranky. Some times, even teachers can't help them, as the teachers may not know what's wrong with that child. They have challenge every day because the kids behave differently anytime. It's unpredictable.
Hmm..except support and prayer, I can't really do much! People out there can make a difference, try not to stare at them or comment on their kids publicly when they behave differently from other kids. We need to educate the younger ones to learn to love them instead of despising them for Gos is Love.
Hmm..the quiet understanding and support from the husband is really important. Through this, I suddenly felt that having kids can be a test to the relationship of a couple. Many arguments arise when they have children, what more a special child.
Life seems hopeless when they have a special kid. All they would do is to seek for help everywhere, anytime. They are very sensitive to what they hear. They get hurt by people around them. Those people could be strangers, their relatives, in- laws, even teachers and husband/ wife. It's indeed stressful.
Many times, I see lost moms in the center especially when their kids are cranky. Some times, even teachers can't help them, as the teachers may not know what's wrong with that child. They have challenge every day because the kids behave differently anytime. It's unpredictable.
Hmm..except support and prayer, I can't really do much! People out there can make a difference, try not to stare at them or comment on their kids publicly when they behave differently from other kids. We need to educate the younger ones to learn to love them instead of despising them for Gos is Love.
I know I do Miss You
Today finally I was able to have Kok Ming with me during, though not worship, but during the sermon time. ( I know that was part of worship, I mean, if you understand what I mean). He left me for 2 weeks and once he was back we managed to meet to buy the drinks for BUG and then we had drinks together for a very short time only.
The next day WE did not expect that we couldn't meet. We had a brief lunch together (thanks for the effort) and he told me that he was on call. Oh well, he just came back and we did not really have much time talking to each other and then he went on call.
Of course I do not like it. But i have to accept it and learn to live with it. Last night somebody came to me, telling me something which I did not know about, it involved Kok Ming. And it was a very big decision kinda stuff. I handled it well, I trusted Kok Ming who would respect me before he makes any major decisions. This was not the first time this person came to me telling/ asking something which I do not know about. Not because I would feel left out, it's because I want him to include me especially when he has any major decision to make.
Last time I will jump into conclusion but after the previous experience, I learn not to trust that person. Last time, we both were angry with what had happened and same feeling arose in Kok Ming, he was quite frustrated with them. At first he thought I was mad and believe what that person said but I assured him that I trust him. There goes another test, we defeated it!
As he sat next to me today, I wanted to cry. Tears swelled. I thank God for bringing him back and I thank God for we are together!
I always believe that the quiet understanding between a couple is paramount important. Without that, anything can cause arguments. We must understand each other and listen to each other and take each others need into consideration before saying NO. I hope in the future, nothing can break us and let's continue building that quiet understanding between both of us!
The next day WE did not expect that we couldn't meet. We had a brief lunch together (thanks for the effort) and he told me that he was on call. Oh well, he just came back and we did not really have much time talking to each other and then he went on call.
Of course I do not like it. But i have to accept it and learn to live with it. Last night somebody came to me, telling me something which I did not know about, it involved Kok Ming. And it was a very big decision kinda stuff. I handled it well, I trusted Kok Ming who would respect me before he makes any major decisions. This was not the first time this person came to me telling/ asking something which I do not know about. Not because I would feel left out, it's because I want him to include me especially when he has any major decision to make.
Last time I will jump into conclusion but after the previous experience, I learn not to trust that person. Last time, we both were angry with what had happened and same feeling arose in Kok Ming, he was quite frustrated with them. At first he thought I was mad and believe what that person said but I assured him that I trust him. There goes another test, we defeated it!
As he sat next to me today, I wanted to cry. Tears swelled. I thank God for bringing him back and I thank God for we are together!
I always believe that the quiet understanding between a couple is paramount important. Without that, anything can cause arguments. We must understand each other and listen to each other and take each others need into consideration before saying NO. I hope in the future, nothing can break us and let's continue building that quiet understanding between both of us!
26 March 2008
SPLASH III
ATTACK!
The battle of SPONGE!
Look at the poor mother, she was stuck in between the sponge battle!
Look at her, she is dominating the pool!
He likes Yong Ming too i guess!
This is Zhao Wei, hard to teach though he's not autistic!
I like Yong Ming, he is so sweet, whenever he smiles, i'll smile from my heart also!
Jer and Yong Ming. I like Yong Ming, he's so sweet!
Like it!
= wan sian and siew fung =
Jer and siew fung ",
me and siew fung
messy! It's hard to get them into position lar! But then...
not bad oso after some fights!
25 March 2008
In the afternoon session, after the "swimming" session, one of the mothers came to me telling me that another mother(B) has problem at home and she is in need of comfort. As she was telling me, she wept. I was stunt...
I assured her that I'll try to look in to it, as in giving that mother (B) support and comfort. So I went back in like nothing had happened. Then, that mother B's son was cranky today. With all the problems that she is facing she kept swallowing her tears. I saw. So after class I got her in to the office and listened to her. Straight away she cried in front of me and started telling me all the problems. Well, I can only pray for her. I can only listen to her.
I prayed before I asked her in. I need to learn to do this, In the future there will be more to come. I'm in training now. Glad that the mother A recommended me as their listener, I mean after my boss la. It's indeed a great encouragement to me!
I assured her that I'll try to look in to it, as in giving that mother (B) support and comfort. So I went back in like nothing had happened. Then, that mother B's son was cranky today. With all the problems that she is facing she kept swallowing her tears. I saw. So after class I got her in to the office and listened to her. Straight away she cried in front of me and started telling me all the problems. Well, I can only pray for her. I can only listen to her.
I prayed before I asked her in. I need to learn to do this, In the future there will be more to come. I'm in training now. Glad that the mother A recommended me as their listener, I mean after my boss la. It's indeed a great encouragement to me!
Splash II
Looks exhausted!
Jer and Sheng Hao! He likes him! You r TOO thin la weh!
Jer and Yee Yee
Messy!!!
They were fighting!
He always says his hair is Durian Hair ;)
Nice splash!
Notice a sponge is flying?
The teachers were "sponging" each other. I, the camera man, was busy taking their photos. Basically, nobody noticed Andy fell down! hahaha
The pool is too small for them!!!
Sitting there to get herself warm-up! Haha... weird!
Hehe...2008 best hair style!!! Blek, wanna "sponge" me ah?
This is Andy. Look at Jervin, he was defeated!!!
Isn't that cool? Look that them, having fun splashing the teachers.
24 March 2008
SPLASH I
Blur and "Ahem"!!!
better but still...it's just hard to be perfect!
It's a real SPLASH!!!
1st shot, they both with the same expression.
Then...they both smiled.
A child seeking for protection from her!
He managed to make her laugh!!!
LOST
I'm neither here nor there. I don't feel belong. What can I do?
This is how i feel now...at least at the moment. I know God is there! I'll seek Him. I'm attacked harshly!
This is how i feel now...at least at the moment. I know God is there! I'll seek Him. I'm attacked harshly!
22 March 2008
Easter
CHC was over for almost a week. I was not the story teller anymore. I learned to tell story in more interesting ways. I found that I prefer teaching younger children. Yeah, the most important thing is I learned to depend on God more and I learned that God will always be in charged. There is no problem too big that He, our God cannot solve.
Yesterday, I went to Chinese Assembly's Easter outreach. The speaker was really good. He was born in Hong Kong, his mother is a preacher. However, he joined Gangster when he was in Hong Kong and he was a drug- addict. He went through a lot. There was unforgiveness but Now he is a pastor in Taiwan and he is reaching out to other drug addicts in many countries including India.
Today I'm back to my own church Easter Outreach. Well, overall was fine just that there were too much movements and unclear speeches. I'm glad that my friend came as well. Glad to see many new faces as well. Our seat was near the air- con. I was shivering all the way. It's a rainy day, let me count, it rained for more than 8 hours already. Hmm...it's still raining.
You know, after the CHC, whenever I saw the clips about Jesus being crucified, seeing how he suffered, I can kinda feel the pain. This was because on the 4th day of CHC, I told the kids about Jesus' death and his resurrection. In one of the parts I'd to act the process of Jesus crucifixion. It really hurt when I was doing that with the kids. During the first session, I nearly cried. haha..and that day, the kids behaved best somehow. They seemed to feel solemn too.
It's Easter!!! Let's celebrate!!! It's not a time to be sad, it's a time to celebrate because Jesus is alive!!!
Blessed Easter to all!!!
Yesterday, I went to Chinese Assembly's Easter outreach. The speaker was really good. He was born in Hong Kong, his mother is a preacher. However, he joined Gangster when he was in Hong Kong and he was a drug- addict. He went through a lot. There was unforgiveness but Now he is a pastor in Taiwan and he is reaching out to other drug addicts in many countries including India.
Today I'm back to my own church Easter Outreach. Well, overall was fine just that there were too much movements and unclear speeches. I'm glad that my friend came as well. Glad to see many new faces as well. Our seat was near the air- con. I was shivering all the way. It's a rainy day, let me count, it rained for more than 8 hours already. Hmm...it's still raining.
You know, after the CHC, whenever I saw the clips about Jesus being crucified, seeing how he suffered, I can kinda feel the pain. This was because on the 4th day of CHC, I told the kids about Jesus' death and his resurrection. In one of the parts I'd to act the process of Jesus crucifixion. It really hurt when I was doing that with the kids. During the first session, I nearly cried. haha..and that day, the kids behaved best somehow. They seemed to feel solemn too.
It's Easter!!! Let's celebrate!!! It's not a time to be sad, it's a time to celebrate because Jesus is alive!!!
Blessed Easter to all!!!
19 March 2008
Ummm...
You know, I've been doing something very stupid on some people. I wanna make it a very special one for them to remember. I just wanna do it. So please let me. I may need to spend a little on those. I don't mind.
17 March 2008
11 March 2008
Tiring
Being a story teller can be very tired at times. I've to adapt to my partner's way of doing things. This morning my head was pain like hell. I kept praying this morning for my sister and brother's result and for myself. They turned out well and me? Again, I stumbled during the senior group session. I found my area though. I think I can deal with younger kids better than the older ones. Sigh... I'm kinda discouraged but I'm trying to ignore those negative stuff and try to do better. Phew...I'm still tired.
Oh ya, staying in a dark room with little light for long time can be very tiring also. Hmm... Tomorrow I'll be free. I don't have any parts to play. Thursday and Friday start battle again. less fright though. It's a good sign.
Oh ya, staying in a dark room with little light for long time can be very tiring also. Hmm... Tomorrow I'll be free. I don't have any parts to play. Thursday and Friday start battle again. less fright though. It's a good sign.
10 March 2008
A Dedication
This is for you! I sang this song today and I hope you will be lifted by this song especially it's bridge.
God is good all he time
God is good all the time
He put a song of praise
In this heart of mine!
God is good all the time
And through the darkest night
His light will shine
God is good
God is good all the time
If you're walking through the valley
And there are shadows all around
Do not fear, he will guide you
He will keep you safe and sound
he has promised to never leave you
Nor forsake you, and His word is true
We were sinners so unworthy
Still for us He chose to die
Filled us with His Holy Spirit
Now we can stand and testify
That his love is everlasting
And his mercies, they will never end
Though I may not understand
All the plans you have for me
My life is in your hands
And through the eyes of faith
I can clearly seee
See with our eyes of faith. We may not really understand the plans, but He is GOOD, all the time. He won't lead us to the wrong path. Hold on to Him and move on!!! I'm praying and supporting you always! Love in Christ...
God is good all he time
God is good all the time
He put a song of praise
In this heart of mine!
God is good all the time
And through the darkest night
His light will shine
God is good
God is good all the time
If you're walking through the valley
And there are shadows all around
Do not fear, he will guide you
He will keep you safe and sound
he has promised to never leave you
Nor forsake you, and His word is true
We were sinners so unworthy
Still for us He chose to die
Filled us with His Holy Spirit
Now we can stand and testify
That his love is everlasting
And his mercies, they will never end
Though I may not understand
All the plans you have for me
My life is in your hands
And through the eyes of faith
I can clearly seee
See with our eyes of faith. We may not really understand the plans, but He is GOOD, all the time. He won't lead us to the wrong path. Hold on to Him and move on!!! I'm praying and supporting you always! Love in Christ...
09 March 2008
God Spoke once again
I love to hear God speaks. I enjoy hearing from God. God spoke to me once again on Saturday night through Pastor Chong. My car broke down at Medan Gopeng main road that day. So i called home. I heard my dad yelling and i started to be frustrated. I waited there with my sister for almost an hour. We were hungry and we were waiting for my dad and his foremen. Before I left the center I already told my sister that I felt that something bad is going to happen.
It was raining cats and dogs. I was at the left side of the road and an ambulance passed by. I was like, Oh man, why at this time? My dad came and the foremen started my car and I've to go to the bus station to fetch my elder sister. I was not familiar with that place so I got lost and gotta make a U-turn. My dad got frustrated because of that ( I felt it's stupid). He scolded me after the whole thing.
He said he was very disappointed because we didn't know the way etc. A lot of the things that he scolded was wrong. He made wrong assumption and he ignored my feelings. I hid in my room and cried. I really felt like going out to fight back but i did not.
On Saturday night, the pastor shared on 1 Corinthians 9 again. There was one point that he mentioned: We need to let go of our right in order to save a soul. This confirmed that I did it correctly and I've to continue doing this. An incident happened to me lately, and i wanted to pursue further but somebody asked me to let go and she said subject closed. And I let it go. I did not feed my desire by pursuing the truth to justify myself. I did it! Though I was not quite happy about it.
Imagine, if i fight back, what will happen? If I keep looking for justice, what will happen? I will only show them my selfishness instead of peacemaker. I really hope that they will come to know the Lord one day!
I really thank God for this confirmation and I hope and pray that God will continue to working in me so that I can be a better person. Sigh... It's tough though!
It was raining cats and dogs. I was at the left side of the road and an ambulance passed by. I was like, Oh man, why at this time? My dad came and the foremen started my car and I've to go to the bus station to fetch my elder sister. I was not familiar with that place so I got lost and gotta make a U-turn. My dad got frustrated because of that ( I felt it's stupid). He scolded me after the whole thing.
He said he was very disappointed because we didn't know the way etc. A lot of the things that he scolded was wrong. He made wrong assumption and he ignored my feelings. I hid in my room and cried. I really felt like going out to fight back but i did not.
On Saturday night, the pastor shared on 1 Corinthians 9 again. There was one point that he mentioned: We need to let go of our right in order to save a soul. This confirmed that I did it correctly and I've to continue doing this. An incident happened to me lately, and i wanted to pursue further but somebody asked me to let go and she said subject closed. And I let it go. I did not feed my desire by pursuing the truth to justify myself. I did it! Though I was not quite happy about it.
Imagine, if i fight back, what will happen? If I keep looking for justice, what will happen? I will only show them my selfishness instead of peacemaker. I really hope that they will come to know the Lord one day!
I really thank God for this confirmation and I hope and pray that God will continue to working in me so that I can be a better person. Sigh... It's tough though!
04 March 2008
Stop hurting
I've been thinking a lot lately, about how I've been hurting people who love me in very indirect and tiny ways.
When I'm sick, I refuse to take medication or I even refuse to drink whatever my mum makes for me. I refuse to see doctor as well. Even when the medicine is sent right in front of me, I just would not take it. (Irresponsible for my own health and making them worry).
Sometimes, when people talk to me, I just feel reluctant to answer them or respond to them. I hurt them indirectly. Who would love to be rejected? I even show them that I do not want to talk.
When I'm sad, I let off on my loved ones. I show displeasure. Somehow or rather, we can just hurt them this way.
I show disappointment in certain situation towards people who cant meet my expectation. I hurt them by making them feel that they are useless (for those passive ones) indirectly.
I really need to learn to stop hurting people. A hurt a day, chase the charms away.
When I'm sick, I refuse to take medication or I even refuse to drink whatever my mum makes for me. I refuse to see doctor as well. Even when the medicine is sent right in front of me, I just would not take it. (Irresponsible for my own health and making them worry).
Sometimes, when people talk to me, I just feel reluctant to answer them or respond to them. I hurt them indirectly. Who would love to be rejected? I even show them that I do not want to talk.
When I'm sad, I let off on my loved ones. I show displeasure. Somehow or rather, we can just hurt them this way.
I show disappointment in certain situation towards people who cant meet my expectation. I hurt them by making them feel that they are useless (for those passive ones) indirectly.
I really need to learn to stop hurting people. A hurt a day, chase the charms away.
02 March 2008
Worship
Today is the first time I wept during worship not because of problems but because of the goodness of the Lord. I wept and praised God for allowing things to happen to my loved ones. Especially my family. He has been good to us and He has been revealing Himself to them.
Kok Ming chose a song named Hallelujah To the Lamb. I was so touched by this song and I really pray that one day every tongue, every tribe, every people and every land will confess that He is Lord of all. I especially prayed for everyone that is around me who has yet to know the Lord. Be it people in the center, my friends and my family. Everyone!!!
I'm very sure God'll make it happen! In His time!!!
Good job guys, today's worship is excellent!!!
Kok Ming chose a song named Hallelujah To the Lamb. I was so touched by this song and I really pray that one day every tongue, every tribe, every people and every land will confess that He is Lord of all. I especially prayed for everyone that is around me who has yet to know the Lord. Be it people in the center, my friends and my family. Everyone!!!
I'm very sure God'll make it happen! In His time!!!
Good job guys, today's worship is excellent!!!
28 February 2008
Appreciation
Haha...it's really good to chat with my "brother". We seldom have a moment of silence. I think even if we have any moment of silence I don't think there's any weird feeling. Well, I believe very much that if friends can be comfortable with each other in whatever situation, I guess, they are and/ or can be close friends. Also when they are comfortable sharing with each other about their lives.
It's not easy to own good friends indeed. If you have one or more, let's start appreciating them and start expressing your love towards them. Make that expression personal. I guess it will mean a lot to your good friends!
It's not easy to own good friends indeed. If you have one or more, let's start appreciating them and start expressing your love towards them. Make that expression personal. I guess it will mean a lot to your good friends!
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