FUWA

These two are Wan Keen's new proper drawings :) Proper because she will do it properly and neatly when there is somebody sitting next to her. Her coloring skill is bad but after attending her art class, she improved. She is very happy to draw. No bad behavior at all. She just loves it so much. She can sit and colour for hours unless I make noise that annoys her :P


Here's another one. This is Archery in case you cannot see. She fell in love to these Fuwa! She thought of what she wanted to draw then tell me and then I guided her verbally. Hmm... Actually one of these will be given to the Pengarah of the Jabatan Pendidikan Negeri, if I did not remember wrongly.

The next thing that she wanna draw will be Shooting. The next Fuwa will be Huan Huan. She likes Bei Bei alot! She was so disappointed because during the opening of the Olympics, she couldn't see the Fuwa! We kept telling her to stay tuned to look at the Fuwa jumping up and down, BUT... Sad for her also...

Wan Keen, Wan Keen...

Umm... It's still crooked. Sigh..It's pain without the wood to support. I can't see the original hand anymore. This add to my beautiful life- puzzle. Hmm... I will not forget what is Frisbee for the rest of my life as this is a gift from that round thing. Probably it will stay like now, crooked for the rest of my life. No big deal, but this bothers me much.

It was clothed with a new clothe? haha... According to Kok Ming, this will make my finger more comfortable, it became bigger and clumsier too. It'll take me another one or two weeks. Then only see how.

This morning, I suddenly thought of Jesus' wounds and how much He had endured and suffered even after all the whippings etc. His wounds were exposed to the air, to the sun or water and dust. How can my pain compare to the pain that is really called pain?
There's no greater love than His love and there's no greater pain than the pain that He had gone through.

Whatever God has given, use it before it is too late. Appreciate every single part of our body, everything that is around us, even things that seem unimportant to us at the moment. When we lose it, we will know the importance of that thing or even people.

Look, does it look robotic? I do not like it on my finger! Not because it looks ugly, it's because i can't function well.

26082001-26082008

Yo! It's 26th Aug 2008.

26th Aug 2001 was the first day of our courtship. Yeah, it's the 7th year today! Well, we did not celebrate this day on purpose. And not every year we remember this date. Haha... Some times I remember, some times I don't.

This year I did and he did. Nothing really special. I remember our first date was in KL. I was studying and he came to visit me. he explored the way to my college and after my last lecture of the day, we went to a hawker center for dinner I think. When we were having out meal, the sky became very dark and the wind blew like tornado. The hawker stalls were blown away (they actually rolled away because of the strong wind). And the stalls hit each other so we can hear the glass breaking sound. It was so scary until I asked God," Are you telling me that I shouldn't start with him?"

It was so dramatic. Hahaha... But thank God for him who has been and still supporting me though we failed each other many times. Thank God for giving us a forgiving heart too.

Second Injury

It's straighter when I put it on a flat surface.

This was what happened to me. I couldn't recall how it happened. I can only remember a great pain rushed in after the score. Yes! It was Frisbee again, this time is on my finger. The Frisbee hit my finger after the score. After I caught the Frisbee, my finger went crooked. It was so painful that I kept holding it and rubbing it, trying to make it straight again.

I was kinda worry about it. I told one of them but he did not really bother. He asked me to show Kok Ming. Well, it's Ok. I just wanted to release my worries because I couldn't make it straight no matter how. One of the girls helped me rub my finger also, trying to make it straight again. Kok Ming was still playing football.

After another few games, Kok Ming passed by, I showed him. He pulled it so hard to make it straight, it was so painful until I beat him. I tried to make it straight as he told me to until the game ended. But it was still very painful. It was even more painful after the game. I couldn't stop frowning.

When I lifted my palm, this ring man just couldn't relax himself.

The bruise started to appear. Still crooked and it was getting worse. Until I met Kok Ming, he went to Pharmacy to get bandage and stuff. Then he bandaged my finger. He needed to press the crooked part to make it straight like the tongue depressor. Oh man, I yelled because of the pain. I yelled because of pain for the first time.

I tried hard to control and to endure because I did not want to make him nervous as he loves me. It's hard to see your loved ones in pain. Phew! This bothers me so much because I'm afraid that that part of my finger cannot bend anymore. My motor skill is already very bad. I really do not hope to become worse.

My ligament is torn according to Kok Ming, still under observation, but most probably no fracture, hope so!

I can really, really feel what the Bible describes, when one part of your body suffers, all parts suffer together. It's SO real to me now. This finger seems unimportant, in fact it's quite important. It's hard to turn the knob of the door without this finger; it's hard to unbutton when I need to go toilet; it's hard to type; it's hard to hold things especially heavy things; children are curious about it and some of them thought it's a new toy and started pulling it; I couldn't carry tables etc. SAD!

Thanks to my colleagues who helped me a lot today. It was a hectic day. All of us were so busy! I claimed to be observant but only today I knew that when I need to go out of a room, I need to use my left hand to turn the knob. And when I need to go in, I gotta use my right hand to turn it or press it. I did not know before this. There are many others things that we left out, we miss just because we are too used to our way of life. We become less sensitive towards certain things and we maybe too fast in our action that we miss God's whisper.

I always admire babies and toddlers. They are very sensitive and alert. Their eyes can actually see what we can't see or what we do not bother to see or hear or whatever. Toddlers tend to pick up things and put into their mouths. They can see very tiny dirt on the floor before any adults can see it. Usually when adults see it is when they notice their kids chewing something or when they see them putting their finger into their mouths.

Maybe we should learn from the kids. Heard of kids' instinct? They have this special gift which they can sense how you are feeling especially towards them. If you are afraid of them, they will tend to bully you. If you do not like them, they can also feel it. If you reject them in your heart, they can also feel it. I'm not sure why they can do that. Maybe they are so pure, not like us, being polluted by fear, pride and etc.

Let's have a child's like heart and a child's like faith together!

Lee Chong Wei...

Yay! Finally Malaysia got a medal. Thanks to Lee Chong Wei. Thanks for the effort. As I was watching the match last night, knowing that he wouldn't be able to do defeat his opponent, a question popped up in my mind," Chong Wei, do you feel lonely?" There were so many China supporters and they were cheering for Lin Dan so loudly. I'm really not sure how would he feel. Well, pressure definitely.



I think he also knew that we Malaysians or everybody else had no faith in him to win this game. However he did not give up, he made many mistakes though. He was blanked and he was helpless when Lin Dan smashed him a few times. He was really lost, seeking help from his couch. I'm still very proud of him. At one time he used Lin Dan's technique to score 1 point. I was laughing in front of the TV. I'm still very proud of him.

keep it up!!!

To You

Here I stand forever in

Your mighty hand

Living with Your promise

Written on my heart



I am Yours

Surrendered wholly to You

You set me in Your family

Calling me Your own



Now I

I belong to You

Lord I need

Your Spirit Your word Your truth

Hear my cry my deep desire

To Know You more



In Your name

I will lift my hands

To the King

This anthem of praise I bring

Heaven knows

I long to love You

With all I am

I belong to You

Whatever I have, whatever I am, whatever I have and had done, I still belong to Him. He will forgive me before I can forgive myself for the wrong doings. It's hard to believe that He takes me so seriously. No one on earth can love me like how He does. I belong to Him forever. Nothing can change this fact. Indeed all I need now is His Spirit, His Word and His truth. So that I can stand up again after the fall.

Still

Have mercy upon me, O God,
According to Your lovingkindness;
According to the multitude of Your tender mercies,
Blot out my transgressions.
Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity,
And cleanse me from my sin (Psalm 51:1-2).

The Love of A Little Boy

I was walking around in a Target store,
when I saw a cashier hand this little boy some money back..

The boy couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 years old.
The Cashier said, 'I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll.'

Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him:
''Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?''

The old lady replied:
''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.

'' Then she asked him to stay there for just 5 minutes
while she went to look around.
She left quickly.

The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand.

Finally, I walked toward him
and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to.

'It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for Christmas.
She was sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her.'

I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus
would bring it to her after all,
and not to worry.

But he replied to me sadly.
'No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her where she is now.

I have to give the doll to my mommy
so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there.'

His eyes were so sad while saying this.
'My Sister has gone to be with God.

Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too,
so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.''

My heart nearly stopped.

The little boy looked up at me and said:
'I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet.
I need her to wait until I come back from the mall.'

Then he showed me a very nice photo of him
where he was laughing.

He then told me
'I want mommy to take my picture with her
so she won't forget me.'

'I love my mommy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me,
but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister.'

Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly.

I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy.
'Suppose we check again, just in case you do have enough money for the doll?''

'OK' he said, 'I hope I do have enough.'
I added some of my money to his without him seeing and we started to count it.

There was enough for the doll and even some spare money.

The little boy said: 'Thank you God for giving me enough money!'

Then he looked at me and added,
'I asked last night before I went to sleep for God
to make sure I had enough money to buy this doll,
so that mommy could give it to my sister.
He heard me!''

'I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy,
but I didn't dare to ask God for too much.
But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose.

'' 'My mommy loves white roses.'

A few minutes later,
the old lady returned and I left with my basket.

I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started.
I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind.

Then I remembered a local news paper article two days ago,
which mentioned a drunk man in a truck,
who hit a car occupied by a young woman and a little girl.

The little girl died right away,
and the mother was left in a critical state.
The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-sustaining machine,
because the young woman would not be able
to recover from the coma.

Was this the family of the little boy?

Two days after this encounter with the little boy,
I read in the news paper that the young woman had passed away.

I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses
and I went to the funeral home
where the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see
and make last wishes before her burial.

She was there, in her coffin,
holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy
and the doll placed over her chest..

I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed forever...
The love that the little boy had for his mother and his sister is still,
to this day,
hard to imagine.

And in a fraction of a second,
a drunk driver had taken all this
away from him.

This was a story a friend forwarded to me. I just read and I thought it's touching. A love of a little boy. It's so sincere and pure.

The JOKER

We finally watched The Dark Knight. Hmm...This movie is so serious.


It's frightening at times because of the Joker and his knife. My mind kept imagining how his mouth is being cut until like this. And I hate the way he talk. The way he licks his lips and talks and licks and talks. Ew...


Before I went I really couldn't recall the story. All I could remember was the Joker, batman's costume, his car and that's all.

The role of Joker caused me to think of people with mental health problem which near to the Joker's (Schizophrenia) or some people with depression etc. They are just very good at playing mind games. I'm really amazed. I do not have much knowledge about this sickness etc. But I've met a person like this but she's different from the Joker.

This friend of mine is having depression and she is on medication. I've known her for many years. And I've witnessed how she played with people's mind. Some how I couldn't imagine how this person can have energy or the mind to cause division, to hurt others etc.

And the best thing is she can always find other's weak point easily. She just has that instinct so accurately. This kinda people is not only hurting others, deep inside them, I guess they are the most hurt. Just that they are lost. They couldn't find themselves. They couldn't identify their feelings or maybe their hearts already grow cold. It's an useful survival skill though.

Just like some people, they do not mean to tell lies, but in order to survive, they need to do that. Some times, they do not even realize what they are doing is wrong.

This also make me feel that we should care for each other more. Well, if there's love and proper guidance, the chances to fall into this is less? I'm really not sure.

The Incredible Hulk

Lately I really feel that my emotion is not quite stable. I can be easily affected by little things like the burnt monitor and what had happened yesterday and the week before.

Many times my emotions will be stirred when I was being accused. I get frustrated when I see things being carried out wrongly and unethically, yet I do not know how to handle. Confrontation was made and warning was sent. I stressed myself too much until I burst like a volcano. Yeah, I did not handle my stress well.

I thought of the Incredible Hulk when I was thinking about myself. I cannot be provoked. I may not be able to control myself to certain extent. I need a heartbeat manager also. Like what the Incredible Hulk has. I need it to alarm myself. When the watch starts beeping, I gotta walk away. If not I'll fall into temptation-- to be angry. Sigh... Well, is there any gadgets like that? I'm really not sure.

Every human appears normal when things go smooth. Like Bruce Banner in his movie. Before he transforms into a Hulk. He looks as normal as anybody else. Hmmm...

Some time down the road, human face certain problem which seems above their level of patience, they become like the Hulk. Ugly isn't it?

Yeah, this is about self control. We need to handle our emotions. The heartbeat manager is a tool to help him control himself. What about us? What tools or gadgets do we have to control our emotion? For me, I have God. No matter how many times I failed to love the unlovely, failed to practice patience and failed to be slow to anger, He never fail to keep pushing me to love, to be patient and to have self control. He keeps teaching me, molding me to become better. Despite what had happened and what is gonna happen, He still wants me to love, to forgive and to have self control.

Well, clear enough, God is the "gadget" that will be able to help me do what is right and to control my emotions from doing silly things. I may have done crazy things, He still loves me which nobody else can do. He corrects me when I have negative thoughts. He makes me brave to be responsible of what I've done and to face the situations no matter how hard! He's the best "gadget" that I was looking and I found!

The Super Hero and the Hero

Yesterday was a terrible day for me. During lunch hour I went out to bank and to photostat some worksheets for my students. I was quite tempted to eat KFC nuggets and I thought of Steven boy, so I planned to get him a set of Chicky Meal and a set of nuggets for myself. So after running all the errant and got the KFC, I started my journey to send the Chicky Meal to Steven boy.

When I reached the junction to the left which is opposite Pasar Bina, I saw two indian guys, secondary school boys. One was riding on the motorcycle and the other was cycling. I couldn't remember clearly but one of their legs were on the motorcycle (or the bicycle). *Shrug*
I wanted to turn left and they were heading straight, so I did not bother to honk them or whatever that I may need to do to warn them that it's dangerous to PLAY on the road. I went my way.

Who knows, when I was waiting for my turn to turn, *bang* Guess what? The guy who was riding on the bicycle knocked the back of my car. Of course he fell down and he got up very quickly. I was shocked and I stayed blur awhile. I did not even go down to check my car. They are just students and I was in a hurry. I was like, what the... What kinda stunts were they trying to do! I did not even scold them or stare at them.

So there I went, heading to Kok Ming's house. Once I reached, I quickly grabbed the bags of things and went down. *Ding Dong* His brother came out to open the gate and I went in to pass the things to Steven boy. Aunt kept asking me to take dessert but I was in a hurry. I did not even say hi to Kok Ming, he was back home to rest during lunch hour. Quickly I went out of the house and ready to go. Guess what?

Oh man, I locked my door with my key in the car and with the engine on man! My phone was left inside, the worksheets and my nuggets. Oh man! I was so nervous already and I went to Kok Ming, then called my mum and he sent me back to work. Oh man, my dad came after a few minutes and Kok Ming sent him to rescue my car. Sigh... I lost my appetite. I used to have a spare key in my wallet but I lost it few months ago.

Before 1.30pm, everything was done. Thank God! So work went well and dinner with family went well and the movie went well until I got home. Until I wanted to online. Oh man, my monitor burnt. I tried to rescue it by unplugging and plugging it again and again, but still... It's certified at 0030, 2nd August 2008.

But Kok Ming sent me his this early morning because I was too upset of my day.

At night when I was in bed, the bugs/beetles just would not let me sleep in peace. They were knocking themselves towards the little lamp I had. I was so annoyed until I got up and on the light. Then only less bug bugging the small lamp. Phew... What a day!

But I know for sure that the HERO of the day was Kok Ming and the SUPER hero was and is God. Yeah, I know God will always make our path straight. Just that, we need to have little bit more faith.

E-lephant

These are Wan Keen's elephant. She made them with dough after watching the National Geographic kind of program on the TV. She is really good at it. Except the second one, the others really look quite real to me. She bought this dough from school with RM0.10. Hahaha... Yeah, it's impossible to get it at such cost. So the next day my mum went to school to ask the bookshop keeper. He said he had no choice but to sell to her at that price, because she was crying. Hahaha... That's so wrong.

People pampered her a lot in school. Many people pity her because she is trapped in this kinda problem- her Autism, but doesn't mean that she doesn't know anything about social or anything about life. She is smart enough to use crying to get what she wants. Kids are like that, aren't they? Crying is their weapon.
So mum got her to pay back the shop keeper the right amount of money. Then the next day, mum gave her more money so that she will have enough to buy other things on her own. And kept reminding her not to buy when she has no money. Hopefully she already understood this concept. Hmm...

When the elephants are traveling in the dark... E-lephant... E-lephnat... She always sings that and then laughs non- stop. hahaha...

This drink is from Singapore. The packaging is creative but the drinks inside is not that attractive la. You can check the ingredients to find out what drinks is that. I got it from 7-eleven. There's another one called "Anything?". It's carbonated drinks. i was quite not happy with what I got because I forgot to check. I got the most common one- Chrysanthemum Tea. Disappointed...

When you feel like saying "Whatever", drink whatever.

noroomnospace

ThesoundofdraggingindoorslippersThesoundoffactory
ThesoundofgossipsThesoundofblamesThesoundofpeople
chattingThesoundofcryingchildrenThesoundoflaughing
childrenThesoundofphonesThesoundofflippingfilesThe
soundofslammingdoorsThescreamsThenagsThequestionsMy
heartbeatMybreatheMynameNoisenoiseNoisenoiseNoisenoise
NoisenoiseThereisnoroomforpeacenospaceatallNotatallJust
likethetypingherenospaceatallOhmanI'mhopingforabreakfrom
everythingelse!

The Jar of Alabaster

Today, I was talking about a sinful woman anointed Jesus with a jar of alabaster which was filled with sweet- smelling ointment with the kids. She was a very sinful lady and nobody would welcome her because of what she had done, the mistakes and the sins that she had committed. However, this sinful woman acknowledged her sins and wanted to repent. She turned to Jesus when she got to know that Jesus was dining at Simon's place. Simon was a pharisee and he was a rude man.

In those day, they were to walk on the sand bare footed or with slippers if I'm not mistaken so the custom was whenever you invite guests to your house, you gotta serve them with a tub of water to wash their hands and feet before they enter your house; you gotta give them olive oil too to put on their hands and head and they greet each other with kiss also.

So, Simon was the one who invited Jesus to his house. But he was very rude to his guests. he did not do anything mentioned above at all. So the guests started eating without their hands and feet washed.

Back to the sinful woman, she knew that Jesus came so she grabbed her jar of alabaster, which was filled with sweet- smelling ointment, off she went to Simon's house. She went in and she felt so sorry for what she had done. So she cried and cried and cried. She was seeking help from Jesus. She washed Jesus feet with her tears and wiped them dry with her long hair. Then she kissed Jesus feet gently and poured the sweet- smelling ointment on his feet.

Simon, whom was a very fussy person, of course he was not happy to have this sinful lady in his house or even near it. He was wondering why Jesus, who claimed that He is God, would allow this sinful woman to get near Him, worse still, to kiss his feet. Jesus heard him and Jesus explained to Him by telling him a little story. He said two man owed another man money, one with big sums and the other with small sums. Both of them couldn't afford to pay their debts, but the man had forgiven them both. He asked him which of these two would love the other man most?

Simon replied," I suppose the one who was forgiven most."

Then Jesus said," Do you see this woman? She is far more kind and loving than you have been. When I came into your house, you didn't give Me any water to wash My feet, but she washed them with her tears. You didn't give me a kiss of welcome, but she has even been kissing My feet. You didn't pour cheap and ordinary oil on My head, as i s usually done, but she poured costly ointment on My feet. So her many sins are forgiven because she has loved me so much."

This is roughly the story.

I really wondered how much tears she had shed to have Jesus' feet washed. I really wonder. She needed to be real humble to kiss Jesus' feet. How many of us can do that, do not talk about kiss, we may not even be able to wash each other feet. And I felt that some times we can be like Simon. He disliked Jesus so he treated him with less courteous. We may treat people whom we dislike bad too. We can hurt them with words, with our action and with out attitude towards that relationship. We often reject or avoid people like ex- drug addicts or ex- prostitute, people with AIDS and people with disabilities. Some of us may even reject our own family members because of who they are, their lowly paid jobs and their background.

If we can start appreciating people and things around us regardless of their background, their condition, we will surely find that this world is full of love. When we start accepting each other, we are making a difference to that particular person's life. When we start giving thanks to God for what He has provided for us, we will always feel contented and would not yield to temptation easily. We know who we are and we'll clearly see the purpose of our life on earth. Because those earthly things will no longer blind our eyes.

How Can I?

After the first post of the day, I viewed my blog, there and then only I saw today's date! GUESS WHAT? It's WAN KEEN's BIRTHDAY! Oh man, I nearly forgot. I'm gonna bring her out to buy a birthday cake later and celebrate with her as my 2 sisters are back. Yeah! They are just in time!


When I got to know it's her birthday, I was really amazed by God's grace! It's His grace that had brought her thus far. He helped her through her life's journey. All the protection, all the provision and all the love that people are showering upon her! Till here, tears are rolling down my cheeks. God is really faithful, whatever He gives, He'll take care. He gave us Wan Keen and He has not been pausing the blessing. He's such a good God and He does what He promises.


Wan Keen went through a lot. She went through rejections from the people around her, her peers and even her teachers. I understand that it's not easy to accept her. She couldn't help when she couldn't find a way to communicate, she suffered from a lot of stress when people around her couldn't understand her. She did not understand anything about danger and she nearly knocked down by car few times. She was lost because she did not know what to expect. Thanks to those people to discover this Visual Strategy that she started to know how to bathe with visual guidance. She understood her routines with visual guidance, she had less stress, as she knew what to expect.


She has talent in music and drawings, God enabled her to get the prize and this brought us joy too. She loves piano, she loves drums, guitars and she can make a tissue box guitar and make music from there too, just with rubber bands. We were so amazed. She is such a talented gal.


This brought me to sing this song again: I'll sing to You Lord, a hymn of love, for Your faithfulness to me, I'm carried in everlasting arms, You'll NEVER let me go! Halleluyah...

Weekdays Christian

I often heard people talking about Sunday Christians, which means, Christians will go to church, trying to be holy on that day, read the bible on that day, sing praises to God on that day, pray on that day and fellowship with each other on that day. Did I get the concept right?


Well, as for me, I think, I'm a weekdays Christians, I pray to God everyday, from Monday to Friday, I do my quiet time from Mondays to Fridays, almost without fail. When comes to weekends, well, I can't deny that I've activities in church still, but I often neglected my quiet time on these 2 days. It's so hard for me to get into it. During weekedns I can hardly focus except when I'm worshipping in church.


I'm following a series of bible study called 2:7 Series. I am required to do my journal for my Bible Reading Highlight Record for 14 consecutive days. Until now I still have not done. The reason is I only do my quiet time on weekdays, on and off I'll do it on weekends. Sigh... Some times this BRHR thing really make feel that I'm a failure. hahaha... Discipline problem I know. That's what Kok Ming always says about me.

Solution?

Almost one week later. This is what happened. His mum bought a helmet for him as a protection. If you do not know what kinda helmet is this, let me tell you. It's a Taekwando helmet. I'm not sure if it's called helmet though :) It's very soft, but I'm not sure if it's suitable for him.

So sad to see him like that. I'm gonna meet up with his mother on Monday! I wanna question her as well as check with her about his condition, wanna check his medication and the frequency of his fits. I hope after the meeting his mum, they'll start charting the frequency of his fits. So that we will be able to see the pattern.

Pray for protection over him. My heart still ache when I see him.