Let Your Will Be Done

Oh man! What happened to the network? I couldn't upload Wan Keen's photos on the 26th Sept 2008! Sigh... I shall try again another time!

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Lately, my dad warned my mum for going to church and join the bible study group. He also went to church to check on her that Sunday. Hmm... When I heard about it from my mum, I became fearful and I've been praying for a gentle treatment from God. I'm really fearful and I do not know what to expect.

If my dad finds out that she's already a Christian, he will be mad! I really think that I'm not up to it. But God let me read John 11 today. A question that Jesus posted, it sounds like this: " I am the resurrection and the life, those who believe in me, eventhough they die like everyone else, will live again. They are given eternal life for believing in me and will never perish. Do you believe this?"

This chapter is about Jesus raised Lazarus from death. When Mary and Martha saw Jesus, they said the same thing. They said that if Jesus was with them, Lazarus would not have died. If you read the whole story, in fact Jesus already knew that Lazarus's sickness. He delayed His journey back to see him with a purpose. Jesus wanted to glorify God, because of God's will, He let his beloved friends grieved. That's why Jesus wept when He saw the 2 sisters and other people in sorrow.

Though he delayed His journey, He raised Lazarus from his "sleep". And everyone was happy and joy overflowed them. Same as today, God may delay our prayer no matter how desparate we are. We may need to go through sorrow, His will be done. He will only give the best to us. He will not forsake us when we believe in Him.

I don't really have faith but I choose to believe and know that I may have to go through some tough time with my mum, He will be glorified and my dad will be saved. Hmm... keep praying for us! Thanks!

Dear Anonymous

Oh now i remembered. It's not that number. It's something else. The CIMB one I answered and it was asking me to invest. The KL number I can only remember the back 3 digits, the front I couldn't and I did not get it many days already so my phone memory did not have it. But it's true that it missed call and off many times even before I could answer it. Now it's Ipoh number pulak. I called back many times, nobody answer no matter when I called. I called during office hour, I called after office hour, still the same result. *Shrug*

Who Are You?

I'd been receiving missed calls from a KL number 603-79649600/400/700. Lately, I did not see this number appear. But, I received another missed calls from Perak. The number is 605-2540629.

I feel very strange. These 2 numbers often just missed call me. I usually received it at around 10am to 11am plus minus. Some times I received it in the evening around 4pm plus. The KL number used to call me but when I answered the call, there's no sound. Even when I called back, nobody will answer the call. This is the second time I received the Perak number.

I suspected that the numbers are made from public phones. It's kinda creepy. Previously it was made from KL I still can have peace. But now, the number is from Perak. It's so creepy and scary. What can I do besides ignoring it? Would I encounter any danger? Am I being traced? Should I make a report because I feel disturbed and threatened?

YO!

Oh man, it's been a hectic and tiring week for me. Another colleague of mine fell sick. She did not turn up the whole week, left 2 of us working. I do not understand why we did a lot of walking. Our legs started to feel tired on Thursday. My legs were almost shaking when I stand up even today I still feel very tired.

Sigh... On Friday, I fought with a big size child. He is so heavy and his strength is greater than I. After that fight, my hands started shaking. Oh man! How great it is that the week is over. Hmm... Really thank God that it's another Monday soon. My colleague will be back.

And I got a tough topic to share with the youth. It's really not my passion. I got the book for So long but till this very early morning only I completed it. I just felt that it's tough for me and I thought of giving up. But, I can't let myself submit to temptation. I've no choice but to submit it to God. Thank God for impressing me with a few ideas. Hope they got the message. My job is done! I'm SO relax now!

I do not have much input this whole week. I was quite grumpy because of the busy days and a lot of other planning for next year, both personal and work. Jervin, you still owe me a theme wall idea. I need help. See you tomorrow, so let me know the idea. If can give me a draft of the theme wall, more than one also can. haha...

Kledang

Yesterday, 6 of us went to Bukit Kledang. Supposed to have 7 people but but dropped because he couldn't wake up. My sis and I woke up at 5.30am in the morning to get ready. Well, I know people will say that we are crazy because we woke up to bathe and wash up. Hahaha... Some people would feel that we are wasting water because since we are going to sweat why still bathe? Umm... It's our habit. I'm not sure about my sis. Maybe she is not that particular like me. If I do not bathe, I'll feel very uncomfortable.

We started our way up at around 7.30am. haha... Somebody was late :P We started from the Bald Hill. I never like using the steps to go up because I'll use up my energy very fast. But yesterday I was fine. I was very excited and happy.

This Wan Sian, she was walking backward. Her friends were behind her. Hehe... She has got good stamina and she felt nothing going up hill as she always does in her uni.

Jervin got bored and challenged my sis to run up the hill. There, they were running and laughing and pushing each other and I was laughing behind them. Fei Wong and the other 2 girls were still behind us.
Then they reached a slope and they were interested to know where it leads to.
So they went up there to spy but found nothing.


Here's their silly faces after spying the small hill.

The weather was good that day but it was getting hot and glaring as we start going down the hill.
This was one of the paths that we passed. Without this picture,
I did not know that the path is so narrow.


These are the Elim Chinese youths. Jervin brought the two gals.

This tree let me thought of Joseph's bundle of grains. It was one of his dream. he dreamed that he and his brothers were tying bundles of grains in field. Joseph's bundle stood up and theirs bowed low before it. This made his brothers hated him more .

Where is Fei Wong? Can you see him? Where is he? is he lost or is he coming down?

There he is! Haha... Taking his own sweet time to walk down the hill when everybody else were way down the hill. haha... He said he broke his record. Usually he walked on Tar not the Bald hill. he said he usually walk until the waterfall only. but this time we walked from the Bald hill and with all the steps and yellow soil. Haha... he refused to walk on the steps after we finished the first stage. He said he felt like passing motion. Haha... He brought Vitagen and herbal tea also. I thought he brought 1 bottle but NO, he brought the whole of it, you know the 5 in 1 packing? I was like... AIYO... kinda expression.

There, can you see the Vitagen bottle? My sis took 2 bottles. Look at this picture, guess which pair of legs are Wan Sian's? And which pair is Jervin's? Well, it's quite easy right? Look at how she sits? Jervin always teases her for being rough. When he teased her, she'll start beating him.
I had a great trip though we did nothing much. Hmm... I felt so good after the walk. We also went to the market to eat. Umm... when I reached home that day, it was already 11.20am. Phew, this the longest hill climb I've ever had. Thanks guys for the fun!

Faces that are Unforgetable

We visited Yong Ming today. He was admitted since last night around 8pm plus. Before we were there, doctor already took his blood 8 times. The docotor took his blood another time when we were there. Everytime when his blood was being taken, he'll sure cry. I'm sure this hurt his parents alot. His cry made the situation worse. I went in to the room where they took his blood together with the parents. He really cried and cried and cried. I nearly wept also. We bought a windmill for him. He loves it. I'm so glad that the windmill brought him joy at least for a while.

This is Hugo. He was just discharged from the hospital also. He is now 5 years old. But he had already gone through more than 10 times of intestine operation. I'm not really sure of his intestine problem, I just know that his intestine is not straight that's why he couldn't control his bowel. And he always has problem with his bowel. This year, since he was recruited in the programe, he had diarhoea twice. He was very chubby and fatty when he came to our center, now he's getting thinner and thinner.

When he came to us, he's always slow in his movement. We taught him to run and now he can run and he enjoys running. He will surely smile when he runs. He gives me joy very much. I just can't help but to smile from the bottom of my heart. His mum is already a grandmother. Haha... His parents divorced too.

Pray that God will bless them richly. And may they know that there is a loving Father above watching over them and love them.

Cirque du Soleil- The Dreamer's Odyssey

Cirque du Soleil story is about a group of people who wanted nothing more than the freedom to dream a dream. Beginning with a young man from Montreal called Guy Laliberte`, it's the tale of individuals who have come forward at special moments in time to make that dream come true, and share it with the world...
http://www.cirquedusoleil.com/CirqueDuSoleil/en/story/default.htm

This morning I watched this circus performance, Quidam (Air of Life), which really touched my heart so much. Well, I don't really understand the story but I was amazed by how they brought out the story from the costumes to the skills and the idea of the whole performance. Well, I'm not sure how many people would like this kind of performances. I like it. After watching, I decided to go online to read about their histories and how it came about. A circus without animals, a circus with story, a circus that is full of expression. I salute the founders of this Cirque du Soleil. They are really great.

This is one of the most amazing stunt for me because the female is holding up the big guy!
It's really worth watching, it's a dramatic circus! It's cool!!!

This scene is one of my favorite part! They need a lot of concentration to make it a successful one. They REALLY need to be very focus. It's like our life, once we lose our focus, we will have no direction and no purpose in life. who would be our focus? God. Only God can provide us the right path and give us our needs. If our focus is on money then we'll become slaves of money; if our focus is on lust, then we'll become slaves of lust; if our focus is on people, we'll become slaves of disappointment; if our focus is on feelings, we can be betrayed by our feelings, because our feelings could be wrong. Well, are we focusing on the right thing? If not what should we do now? How are we gonna get our focus right? May this help us reflect on our lives thus far :) God bless!

You Both Spiced Up My Days

The table was alive again last two days. Guess what? Haha... Yeah, my sister and Jervin was back to the center to help. It really made a lot of difference when they are around. The center will have more noise, more laughter and more "semangat". The place will be livelier and there are more people to have lunch together.

Whenever there's time, my sister will start practicing her bandaging skill. She kept bugging us to lend her our hands and legs and head and... to practice. And she always says," Tidak mencapai objektif." because she failed to dress our parts perfectly.

Well, nobody lent her any parts of the body, she will start dressing her own, Happily? hahaha...

This is Jervin. We were eating "rubbish" today. My sister started eating Mamee in the morning, then before lunch was me and during lunch one of my colleagues and Jervin took and before work dismissed, my sister and Jervin took the Mamee again. Haha...

It was a free day. It can be a good thing and it can be a bad thing because when it's too free, I found the day passed too slowly. Maybe I was anticipating for the long break la. They finished our work actually. Maybe by force haha... Really thank them so much to come to help as one of my colleagues was away! They left the center for few months and the children couldn't remember them. One of them called them uncle and auntie when the child greeted them goodbye. That was really funny because some body was teasing some body else and thought that he looks very young. Who knows he is in the same category to the child :P

Hey guys, really thanks so much for dropping by to help. I really enjoyed your presence and your presence spiced up my days! I long for more people to come to work in the center. Sigh... need motivation some times.

Pray for Yong Ming

Yong Ming is a slow learner. What made him a slow learner? It was because of his health problem. Since birth, his intestine is outside his body. If you notice, his tummy is a bit bloated. When he was young, almost all of his days were spent in the hospital. He had less chance to learn skills that he should learn and due to his weak body, he was not able to cope. He is very fragile. His mother takes care of him very carefully especially when there is game. Children tend to push and run. He cannot fall because he may hurt his intestine.

We saw it on his tummy. There's a layer of skin covers it. His mum said before the skin grew, the intestine was exposed. He can only go for operation when he turns 12 years old. Today, he came to the center telling us that he will leave earlier to visit the doctor because his skin turns yellow. He looked like a golden boy today. His mum was and is still very worried about the change of his skin colour. He needs to go for another blood test tomorrow morning at Hospital Ipoh.

Sigh... I hope that he will be fine. He's a very cute and smart boy. We all love him very much. I like to hear him talk, his voice is very gentle and very cute. I like to play with him also. Please do pray for him. Hope to see him back to the program next week!

Dora the Explorer

This is Princess Dora. This was made by Plasticine by wan keen. She did it while she was watching some VCDs on the computer. Besides drawing, this is one of her entertainments at home. I found myself clumsy at doing this but my colleagues will feel that I'm very creative. All these I learned from her. It's God who gave me this sister with overflowing talent that I am able to learn from her!

Her drawing lesson teacher always says that she is a very happy child. Whatever she draws or make will have a happy face. She often wants all the people around her to be happy also, of course, especially when she has done something wrong. Haha... She got her certificates and prizes already. That day was so happy. She had a ceremony by the school for about an hour. Too bad I couldn't be there to rejoice with her.

Another Sunday

Finally the Sunday school closing item is up! Phew! I'm so relieved. I took months to prepare, only until yesterday I completed the whole thing. I was trying to think about it at home, at work but still I couldn't concentrate. At work, not like last time, I'd a lot of time to do all these stuff. Now, I'm almost fulled the whole day. Maybe on and off I'll have more time to rest like Monday and Thursday before afternoon sessions starts.

Hmm... I thought about the item when I was driving most of the time. Until yesterday I finally decided to go church with my sister and locked ourselves in a room to think of the sequence etc. I felt so tired after we spent our day there.

Well, today we had a good discussion with other Sunday School teachers and the children. Some of them grew so tall and some young ones that I do not know are so small in size. I'm so happy to see them gather together! All the props are easily found as we have these teachers who are so sociable and resourceful! So glad! Two is better than one seriously if not I'll die straight in the class. Hmm...

Next week, we are gonna start the practice. Guess I'll dream of them very often like yesterday!
I dreamed of the practice last night. Hahaha... When I hear the song, I felt like vomiting. A but stressed but I enjoy it very much. I just love doing this!

It's another year, I hope that students will stay in my class. Some of them are not regular. In fact they did not learn very much also. I do not see a point to move them up. Well, intended to teach them about Jesus this year, we did it and hope they will have a rough idea about it as they grow. Also hope very much that they will not forget that they had accepted God.

Lord We Lift Your Name On High!

I had hiccups since yesterday morning. It came when I started coughing. It came quite late. I couldn't make it go no matter what I did. I drank so much water it was still there. I held my breath it came back after a while. Only when I nearly slept it disappeared. When I got up, once I coughed it started again.

Worse thing was I had promised katan to be back up singer. When he asked if I could sing before that evening, I said I still can. Who knows that hiccups came. I was quite worried about it and wanted to tell him that I couldn't make it but I was not able to tell. When we practiced till the last song I really couldn't sing.

Before the real thing I still had hiccups. I asked for Kok Ming's opinion. We both were afraid that I last minute pulled out will discouraged him ( well, not to say you are easily being discouraged or I'm important, it's sense of responsibility and support). In my heart, I prayed that God will take the hiccups away during that short period of time. When I breathed, I breathed very carefully. True enough, God took the hiccups away for that period of time. Then it came back again after that. Though I made a few mistakes as I wasn't very sure when to go in (sorry), still I was amazed by God. He could just answer prayer so quickly. Thank God for Bernice also that she was there to help! Great!

The hiccups stopped till I took the porridge. Phew! Today I still feel very dizzy but I'm joyous because I am VERY sure that God is with me. God make things happen and God is just so amazing. Indeed, when our hearts are focused on God no matter how good or bad the situation is, God will only make it better. LORD WE LIFT YOUR NAME ON HIGH!

Yes! God made it happen and I'm so encouraged by the children in my class. Today is the first time I used power point to present the lesson. The children were so attentive. I think they were very excited. They couldn't sit. Most of them stood to listen to the story until it finished. I got this idea after reading a book written by a mother with a Cerebral Palsy child. I did not really have the courage to do that, it took time to do it plus I do not have Streamyx or any broadband. So to download certain pictures really need to wait quite long. Well, no problem because the outcome is so good.

Today was the first time I led them to accept Jesus as their personal savior too. All of them want to accept Jesus. They raised their hands when I asked. I do not know how much they understand but I assured them that God can help us, God can make us whole again. I felt so touched when I saw their hands. I really felt like crying (for joy).

Then we prayed and they all prayed very well with me. Nobody was making any unnecessary noise etc. Really thank God. Hmm... So glad.

Thank you God for all this things that you have done for us that we are able to call you Father, Savior and Friend. Take care of the children and may the seeds that were sown in them grow firmly in You and You alone. Take away anything that may block them from knowing You deeper and use us mightily too to help them through this journey. Amen.

Please go back to where you belong

Hmm... This is a dog which came to our center as a shelter for itself. It came on Thursday and I was kinda lost. It refused to leave the center and it just stayed under the sink where our children wash hands and brush teeth. We were very afraid that the children would accidentally step on it's tail or whatever. When we got near it, it'll wag its tail and it's a tame dog.

I really cannot let it continue to stay around our place because it's not hygienic to have it there as the children are weak. Who knows, the dog may carry some germs or sickness or whatever that's bad for our kids. So I called up a parent who would have a chain. I borrowed it from her and chained it at the back gate. When my class finally finished, I took it out to the main gate and chased it way. It refused to walk to the main gate. It just braked there and did not want to move at all. Managed to push it and pull it with the help of Michelle and the guard. So I thought it was the end of the dog chapter. Guess what?! It came back and stayed at the same place yesterday! Oh man!!!

I really scratched my head and I chose to ignore it. It really stayed there without walking around the whole day until we dismissed from work. I hope it will leave when we get back to work on Monday! Sigh... Frankly when I chased it away the other day, I was quite upset. Sigh... It became the lime light in the center. Most kids love it but some are afraid of it. What should I do?

A day began with much harassments, with many tests of patience. Don't you know that I've already got used to it. I just do not you pulling my shirt suddenly and always do not wanna let go. My face turned "black" when this was done to me. Hmm... What do you want?! But today was the first time you wanted me to pull you up from the floor. It was the first time after so many years.

You kept laughing and I did not think that it was funny at all. Didn't you notice that nobody laughed with you? Were you laughing at me, thinking that I'll lose the battle and you will always win? No, not this time. I got you to pick up every single thing that you threw, remember? You think you win? Dream on!

Some times silly thoughts came to my mind. Like this one, today I was teaching her and she kept on "abusing" me. I was like "what's new?" And my spirit was tempted to have a "spirit fight" with her. Erm... I do not know what's "spirit fight", I simply name it and some times she could feel what I was thinking and then she will challenge me. Only both of us will know. She is very good at it some how. I've been so careful but she finally got her chance to harass me!

Okla, okla! You win!

sssrrrrr....OUCH!

Today is the 4th day I took out the dressing of my finger. It's still not straight. It's still like that. My skin looked molded and it was stinky. Started physio and it's exposed to danger everyday. The first day I accidentally hurt my finger when I was bathing. 3 times in a row. Second day which was Monday, my finger was accidentally hit by one of my students with a wooden stick and beads right on the most painful part. I did expressed my pain. Third day my finger was twisted by Kenny when I put my hand around his shoulders. Fourth day, which is today, it's safe and sound as I do not need to work :)


It's still swollen and when the skin started healing, the skin peeled slowly. When my skin was so thin and when I need to do physio, it's darn pain as i need to press on it. It felt like burnt. After applying Skin Repair lotion last night, it looks so much better than this today! I think it is considered healed when the pain is gone. So before the pain is gone, I must do more so that it'll be straighter.

Even after I'd straightened it on the table. The swollen part still can be seen. This part is So painful even when I swing my hand. Hoping that tomorrow will be a safe day for my finger. Hmm... I'm not really afraid of the children. I'm more afraid of the parents because they are very tension. When they think that their children intended to reach my finger, they will have a lot of actions which will hurt my finger more seriously. I wanted to tell them but then sigh... All I can do is to be more careful. I know it's a normal and spontaneous reaction from them. If I were them, I maybe like that too.

It's my Dear mum's birthday

It's my mum's birthday today! As usual I bought a cake for her. I do not know since when I started buying cakes for my family members during their "big" day. That's why she was expecting a cake from me today. Kok Ming asked why not wait for wan sian to come back? I feel that it will lose the meaning to celebrate after the actual date and because I know my mum was anticipating for this moment to come. So better do it to prevent the salt to lose it's saltiness.

Well, the happiest person will be Wan Keen though. As she grows older she finally know that other's birthday cakes are not for her to blow. She waited mum to blow. She finally understands that everyone has a birthday.

So long my Dear girl

One of the students quited our program. At first I do not feel really sad but just worried that she maybe just dump at home without going to school. She's quite a severe case but she understands what we say many times. She won't be coming anymore. Just because of a misunderstanding with another parent and also because the mother does not have time to bring her by herself.

She brought her daughter along yesterday to return the homework that she borrowed from our center. When I finally saw her and knew the fact that I won't be seeing her anymore, my tears swelled. I couldn't hug her as the child doesn't like being cuddled etc. I enjoyed teaching her.

Sigh... Another child gone. Praying hard that God will keep her safe and teach her in His own special way.

A lot of these things happening lately. Maybe this month is the season of sadness and season of disappointment for the parents that I encounter. Well, I bet things are getting better for the mother that I mentioned last time. She did not look for me to talk yesterday. Thank you God. We have been praying for her almost every day together. Now we are waiting for miracle for another child which bothered me a lot and she always being beaten and pinched by school people. According to that child, it was the PPM who pinched her. Sigh... Her naughtiness is unbearable even for my most patient colleague. How can other people tolerate her then? Sad!

Herod's Attitude

I read something which made me try to change my attitude when I go to church on Sundays. In Luke 23 if I'm not mistaken, I read about Herod, who wanted to see Jesus for a long time. He hoped to see Jesus perform miracles as his entertainments. He was disappointed because when he saw Jesus, Jesus was in chains. He couldn't perform any miracles.

In the Devotion part of what I'd read, the writer says,

" Herod reminds me of a lot of Christians. One recent survey suggests that people shop for churches as for a commodity. They check out the agencies. They ask about the preaching. They find out who goes to the church. They listen critically to the choir. Are there enough activities for children? For teens?

Even then all too many come on Sunday and go away disappointed, because for some reason God or the preacher didn't perform well that day. Like Herod, "hoping for a miracle," and God wasn't putting on a special performance for them that day."

This described some of us. Some times we are disappointed by the speaker, the worship session and etc. Well, we can comment on the speaker of the day and we can even comment on the worship that day. But, I wonder if we should walk out of the church or even stay out when certain people come to the front to talk or when there is a poor speaker speaking language that we can't understand? (It means the speaker goes round and round the garden but finds himself in the maze at the end)

The writer continues,

" Can we see this flaws in ourselves? Have we ever stopped to think that church isn't suppose to be entertaining? Church is to be a gathering place for a community of faith; a company of men and women who worship the crucified Saviour, and who commit themselves to minister to a lost and suffering mankind."

Though I seldom walk out half way during the worship, I find myself guilty of finding the church as an entertaining place for me. I expect God to perform some miracles during the day some times and some times I sigh when certain people talk too long. My attitude is wrong.
What about you?

22nd Sept 2008

This date is quite a significant date for me and my family. It's the day that Wan Keen will receive her prize for the International Drawing Competition. The ceremony will be held in her school during the assembly. I foresee this will bring a lot of jealousy from some of the troublesome parents in that school. And it's gonna be a very proud thing for the school on the other hand.

This is the day that the Lord has made!